...and there were fireworks.

the night sky glittered. my heart was ablaze. your eyes... the brightest of them all, such a spectacle...

it was the perfect setting... yet i managed to screw up.

next thing i know, even the ashes forgot to leave any trace.

i looked back, and what remained was you, just you and your silence.

-------

and there was evening, and there was morning... the first day.

and there was you, just you and your silence.

-------

happy holidays to everyone!!! i really suck, blog maintenance-wise, don't i?? (",)

La, la, la.

by this afternoon, troops of vehicles will be making its way down Himlayan Road and into the cemetery it leads to. i want to go out somewhere, but i don't want to be stuck in that logjam during the return trip.

so i ended up being talked around by my dad to, well, "make our house look like a home," whatever he meant by that. actually, i'm not finished doing that yet. just nicking some time off.

anyway, here's everyone looking forward to the halloween/all saints' weekend, but i'm thinking about yuletide. dunno why, but christmas signals new year, and new year... makes me feel older. blah. i'm blaming the paint fumes again for this.

about the previous poll, uhmm... a friend of mine told me that the results were distorted. still haven't thought of a new one.

i'm goin' blog hopping now. i wish i had something to write about as well, just like the others. hoooo. a friend commented, "there's no emotion in your posts. what happened?"

is she right?

Paranoia

my dad arrived early, but he forgot to pay some bills. since he was already tired, he asked me to do it for him... and i had no choice but to comply, gladly - it's been two days since i've gone outside.

while waiting for a jeep, one long-haired guy wearing a yellow sando and cargo shorts approached me and asked:

"boy, anong oras na?"

"ah, sandali lang po..." the kind-hearted yours truly replied as i took my cellphone out from my pocket (i don't wear a watch) to answer his question. "...alas-tres po."

"alas-tres? okay, salamat." he then looked up to a dark sky, and muttered under his breath, "naiwan ko kasi cellphone ko eh... baka traffic na mamaya..."

then out of nowhere, a thought hit me: he's after your cellphone.

it was a completely baseless notion, but it made me chill nonetheless. a jeepney finally came, and so i entered. to my horror, he followed suit, and even took the space by my right - on which pocket i had my phone.

i told you, he's after your phone. he asked the time to find out where you placed it. by this time i was starting to feel stupid for being such a nice-ass.

seconds after, we both paid our fare. according to that sequence, i'd be going down first, so that cooled me down a bit, and i was ready to throw the whole issue out. until the driver slowed down upon seeing a bearded guy hailing his jeepney.

it turned out that mister beard-o was an acquaintance of yellow sando guy. furthermore, it happened that the only space available was between me and his friend, thus he took a seat there. the only comfort that i had was knowing that i was sitting closest to the jeepney entrance. if ever things went whack, i could make a jump for it.

while pondering on my options, i felt fingers grasp the right side of my jeans, as if it was pulling something out. even through the cold and windy ride, icy sweat was rising from my chest.

"bayad po," grunted the beard-o. i heaved another sigh of relief within me. minutes later, i breezed out of the jeepney intact. then i realized that the bills were clutched in my hands. my heart stopped thumping for a moment as i checked my wallet for the money. after rummaging for a bit, i cracked into a wide smile, nearly laughing at myself.

what in the world was i thinking? i wondered, as i looked out from a jeepney window on my way back home. that was plain judgmental and overanalytical, harsh even. hmm...

by this time i was almost zoning out. a thin, lanky, loosely dressed guy yanked me out of it, though, pressing a pointed thing unto my ribs. i stole glances at other passengers - one guy wearing all black, another donning a bandana. both were equipped with sharp knives. the rest were obviously shocked at the turn of events.

"boy, cellphone mo lang. bilis."

=======

purely fictional, don't worry. that's what happens when you're stuck at home forced to breathe paint residual odors together with your usual oxygen.

anyway, to my QueSci colleagues, i found out Sir Lorenzo's new raket: writing/editing sudoku puzzlebooks. he has a 5- or 6-edition series, currently out in bookstores near you.

sunday stumper

after two weeks of interrupted classes and inclement weather, four straight days seem to be an unprecedented feat, with added bonus in the return of the previous weather patterns of morning sun and afternoon rains.

but even as the storms have drawn away, the fighting maroons are still in shambles, dismantled by the green archers 61-89. according to my younger brother it was 69-81, but i happened to realize that he was just trying to raise any hopes that i had left for the team. well, honestly, i'd be happy for even if they managed to lose just by a dozen, i'd be saying that the effort is there, i'd be lauding their desire to stay in the game, and all that against a clear-cut final four entry... although maybe there's next year for that.

anyway, i've had a series of mood swings lately. one day i feel that extra bounce, extra hop in my every step, like a child waiting for his candy rations; the next day my entirety's not even interested in budging an inch, and the day after my nerves go haywire, utterly confused with the inconsistencies.

tennis training resumed last wednesday, also affected by that virtual and cold three-week cold. faulty jitters were abundant, but somehow i was confident with my strokes, and it showed - more control, more power, less errors. meanwhile, i realized that i were only two days away from getting my eyeglasses back, thus making me assume that things can only get better.

the saturday that followed was disastrous. i did get my glasses back, i saw the ball better, but my play was a far cry from wednesday's, and that was when i was fortunate enough to slight the ball. pity it had to happen on a day when sky and wind conditions were tennis ideals.

coincidentally, my swings were better when i removed the specs. later in the day, i accidentally left them [glasses] at a friend's place. a sign that fate wants me to part ways with my spectacled past? loads of crap, but even the best poor-sighted athletes rarely use their visual aids during play. i ought to learn from them.

putting things in perspective, i lost 7 pounds (reduced food intake) and P1.5K for that newly-refracted, silver-rimmed pair. i will definitely not sleep with them on.

the ray of light

home is behind / the world ahead /
and there are many paths to tread /
through shadow / through the end of night /
until the stars are all alight /
mist and shadow / cloud and shade /
all shall fade / all shall fade //

my friends, thank you for pointing out the joys of a six-day weekend. as for my part, the star wars bi-trilogy, the harry potter series (1-5), and if anyone recognizes pippin's song, the lord of the rings, all of them. that's thirty-plus hours of viewing time. i wish i hadn't started on hp, though. they might be at par with other box office hits in terms of dollar sales, but in overall grandeur, nahh, not even two cuts away.

regardless, it was an upgrade over excruciatingly waiting for a fighting maroon to exhibit some miniscule form of defense.

meanwhile, who said we have to wait for a "ber" to start christmas festivities? or maybe it's just my dad who fired a gun too early, but i heard him singing white christmas two days ago.

actually, i'm running out of creative juices, but with a stroke of luck, a shred of tomorrow's news, coming from a reliable source through y!m express:

m*_t*: THE BEGINNING OF THE END... OF TOFI! JOIN THE AUGUST 21 MOBILIZATION, 1130AM AT THE AS LOBBY! EMULATE PUP WHERE 5K STUDENTS WALKED OUT OF THEIR CLASSINGS, CAUSING THE JUNKING OF TOFI. PLS PASS - SPARE and UPX

look, i don't have anything against them fighting for their own causes, for others' causes for that matter. but this guy just instructed us to emulate another school's histrionics when we should be the trendsetters. and we are part a University, an institution dedicated to help our families and fellowmen through the best education our country and taxes can offer. so please, if i may say this, let our action materialize inside the classrooms, not out of it.

however, what struck me the most was one of the two organizations purportedly involved: UP Xientia. Xientia, for starters, is derived from Xientian, a term used by students and alumni of my alma mater (QCSHS) to identify themselves as part of the said institution, usually within themselves, but nowadays even to others.

the latter was reinforced with the advent of this new organization, which apparently aimed to gather UP-D Xientian alumni, for whatever the cause they agreed upon. i, along with many others, was invited to this organization, but declined as i did not see the need to differentiate myself from others who do not come from my alma mater, if ever that was their aim in the first place, and i thought it was.

obviously, i missed the mark by a mile. i can't help but wonder if the whole organization thinks as one in this issue, as claimed by that announcement above. now i wish classes would be suspended tomorrow as well, for whatever reason anyone might mind conceiving.

anyway, the sun was up earlier this day, from the east it rose. the clouds were nowhere behind it. with sheer stupidity, i went up to the rooftop, as always, whenever i needed a boost of inspiration. i saw my own shadow, long and flat against the sloping roof. and there i found it - my writer's epiphany. you love it when it happens. i'm already working on it.

p.s. i would like your opinion on a poll i would be posting. details are to follow. thank you.

caught up... barely.

(last of a 3-series special)

i'm *cough* dead *sneeze* sick *faint*. lately i've been snacking on caps and tabs like they were popcorn, hoping that drinking water encourages a placebo effect, and experiencing early morning asthma attacks twice its normal occurence rate. and ever since i accidentally slept on my eyeglasses, i've had five days worth of sore eyes (and nearly a long exam), a very strained left eye and a virtually helpless right, deep-set eyes being showcased to everyone, and not a day without eye-mo, as my eyes seem to be waiting for just one big kamot before all turns red.

all these, plus the irregular weather, the slew of national holidays, a glaring lack in extra-curricular activities, the absence of friends and usual companions, and mental pressures led to a school life burnout, wherein everything seems to be tiring and/or boring. imagine: i have 12 units worth on mondays and thursdays, and those are the days when either a professor called sick or classes are off by chance. i mean, what are the odds?

my dad would tell me half-jokingly that it's all in the head. i hope he's right.

=======

three incentive papers.
two film showings.
a quiz, a practical, an exam, tons of readings.
15 hours community service. 0 hours completed.
a prospective cssp reg assistant.
19 units next semester, including two 5-unit courses.
2.5k pesos of expenditures before the end of this month.
borderline balance in my atm.
another UP loss.
two months before their application process ends.
a still empty, partially crumpled tennisUP sigsheet.
muscle pains and slight weight loss.
a need for inspiration.
nostalgic dreams.
a dismissing smirk.
a cheery smile.

p.s. happy birthday to everyone who had birthdays from june to tomorrow. dami nyo eh.
p.s.s. jessica zafra rules. jessica alba is hot.
p.s.s.s. errata: sorry for raising your hopes a bit too early, UP fans. the writer was referring to preseason performances. but they'll do great nonetheless.