Pensées

Blaise Pascal

172. We do not rest satisfied with the present. We anticipate the future as too slow in coming, as if in order to hasten its course; or we recall the past, to stop its too rapid flight. So imprudent are we that we wander in the times which are not ours and do not think of the only one which belongs to us; and so idle are we that we dream of those times which are no more and thoughtlessly overlook that which alone exists. For the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We try to sustain it by the future and think of arranging matters which are not in our power, for a time which we have no certainty of reaching. Let each one examine his thoughts, and he will find them all occupied with the past and the future. We scarcely ever think of the present; and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means; the future alone is our end. So we never live, but we hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so.

tomorrow, tomorrow... tomorrow. that's today.

three days after that bummer of a math long exam. i can't believe i spent one sleepless night brushing on my partially complete notes and end up doodling careless mistakes all over. how pathetic.

I Am Me: My Declaration of Self-Esteem

Virginia Satir

...However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay.

i'm not cut for a love story, eh? so true. in fact, i'm not cut to be good at anything just yet. i'd better not think about these things before sleep and during exams from now on, i guess. just focus on becoming a better person which is closer to my ideal. hmmm.

if memories were snowflakes, i'd sure love to see some melt in my hand.

if memories were ding-dong, i won't eat them, but i won't share them either.

damn. i just can't forget how i extended that line to infinity. that blunder cost me at least three points and a whole lot of happiness. should've relied on my instincts. at least now i can start a new line, discontinuous at the point when i say goodbye to the past... again.