hallo. tell you what, i feel like that special groundhog which didn't come out to bring the good news of spring, or more like the beaver which hibernated for the next six months because of the groundhog's mysterious disappearance.

both of them are saying the same thing: it's a long winter, folks. and many things will change. for instance, i saw, for the first time, the Filipino edition of Blogger.com. and more are soon to come.

so before i forget, i'll say this now: such a rare opportunity came, and i'm taking it, as this chance might not come again because it seems that this year is the harshest of winters for me. to everyone whom i had failed, in one way or another, please take this as my most humble apologies. it's not that i don't think of contributing to your happiness, but the circumstances won't allow me. and as my way of showing my gratitude to you guys, i'll do my best with everyone in mind.

i just wish to leave even a piece of my thoughts before i disappear, seasoned by my very human emotions in its full scale and intensity. but before i do...

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i've been tagged. it's something i read in ate miles' blog; to be more specific, it's an internet chain game. each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about him or her, then will choose another six bloggers to tag. people who get tagged need to write in their blog 6 weird things. list their names, and inform them. this way, mother nature and grandpa time will see the weird works of their hands...

kidding aside, 6 weird things about juan gabriel l. de leon.

1. i hated my given name, even if it was not exotic in the slightest way. people tend to call others by their very first names, so i make it a point to introduce myself as "gab" first before stating my full name. not that "juan" stinks, but i'd rather consider myself lucky to be christened with that second name...

2. i always sleep with my mouth open. not that i want to, but i cannot stop doing it because i have to - otherwise i'd be out of breath (or maybe dead) the next morning. it's partly because of my asthma and pneumonia, which obstructs the normal respiratory routes in my body, specifically the nose. once i lie down, all the mucus miraculously goes up to my nose, making it impossible for me to do normal breathing while asleep. thus, i have to breathe through my mouth.

3. i fancy wearing loose clothing. perhaps others wear clothes to show their chiseled muscles or their lack of body fats, but being a person of fragile stature, i can't do that. and besides, i've always believed that the primary functions of clothing are covering and comfort, not showing off. i've been comfortable with loose clothing ever since i can remember, so if you please, stop forcing me into doing things i'd never do.

4. i chew gum at least 5-7 times a day. this is one habit i learned in college, and again, it is because of my fragile stature, which doesn't allow excess body fats in my body, which could've been converted into extra energy whenever i need it. but since i don't have them, and knowing the demands of college life, what would become of me and my dreams if i didn't find a way to survive? this is where my sugary sweet miracle drug comes in. it even has a wiki testifying to its wonders (it's a well cited article, too)...

5. i haven't been to a woman's 18th birthday yet, though i've been invited tons of times already. they call it a debut to womanhood, so i don't see why men have to be there. but i do want to participate in such events, honestly - however, every time someone holds it and gives an invitation, either something urgent comes up or my schedule won't allow me. not even once.

6. lastly, i dream about dying a lot. furthermore, these dreams are the only ones i could remember vividly - be it splattering from 60 feet up or being devoured by a two-headed, one-eyed monster or sleeping to oblivion or a car crash in trying to save my runaway girlfriend (i don't remember her face, though). does it mean that death will chop my head off soon? i hope not.

now spread the good news! unfortunately, i haven't decided on who to tag yet, but you could request for a tag if you want to. i'll post it in my tagboard. 6 people. h'm.

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[argh! i had to rewrite this all over again. notepad.exe failed to save. lucky!]

lady luck always finds a way to screw up for me, hmm? 6 debuts, 3 birthday parties, weekends at church. all missed. i bet many are thinking that i had developed some killjoy-slash-anti-social-disorder nature since college. honestly, i'm not happy about it, but do you need an explanation? put it this way: if you have any good ideas on how to squeeze an extremely happy social life into my academic schedule, tutoring sessions for my younger sibs (which i'm not even good at), and my basic needs as a human being, please do tell me. i was thinking of improving myself as a whole, but that sounds easier to say than to achieve, yet i'll try nonetheless. He'll help me too, because my head is about to break into thousands of shards just thinking of it, the time i could have used to furthering my knowledge about my friends and acquaintances, and furthering their knowledge about me. i've given up a lot, and am about to let go of more! very exciting, very thrilling, indeed. but i have dreams to keep intact, some of which i've let go way back already. i chose a future in medical school, not an illustrious writing career. besides, i'm not very good at this. too sappy, too emotional am i, and i refuse to be like that for the rest of my writing days. i don't want to be too personal, too selfish, anymore.

thus i will be, to a friend, brother, and sister, a good listener; to a writer, an excited reader; to a father and a mother, one ready to obey; to a teacher, a student willing to learn; and to myself, one who entrusts his life to Him first. and i'll learn to enjoy this as well, whatever it takes.

until next time. (",)

p.s. happy birthday to everyone of my friends who had their birthdays for 2007. forgive me for not mentioning each one of you.

p.s.s. don't get me wrong, i'm not closing this blog! and i'm grateful to everyone who passed by here, even once.

p.s.s.s. to those people who i rarely converse with nowadays, someday we'll talk again, and i'll make you tell me what i want to find out. you have been warned *cackles like a madman*. seriously, but you'll do that after you hear my thoughts first.(",)