no pun intendead.

2008-01-01T18:22:00.000+08:00

aloha, 2008!
i feel so lucky, globe gave me unli!
a friend wished me a happy birthday yesterday. real sweet.
gma7 was 5 seconds ahead of abscbn2. not bad, considering they were ages apart last year.
it was a bit too silent up at the highlands. though you're able to meet the fireworks at eye level, it was a tad too quiet.
but quiet isn't bad, either, as long as you have cheesecake for midnight... and company, of course.
i find it strange, though - every year i get to see the fireworks with a newfound friend.two eves ago, a japanese girl; then last year, two young south korean boys.
last night, a la sallite lass. i just met her three or four days ago...
yet somehow i felt at ease while she was bombarding me with the silliest questions and anecdotes.
i'd sure want to meet her again, but i can't wait for 2009, either.
though i'm rushing too much. i totally forgot about homework. and three exams too!

2007-12-30T19:37:00.000+08:00

REPORT, OR DROP.

it came from my MPs 10 professor. apparently, he knows that someone's been absent from his class for five meetings already.

so i'm dropping that subject next year. right at bat for 2008, eh?

and there goes my mom randomly uttering, "wow, may anak akong cum laude!"

no, i haven't told them. yet.

hoooo, i feel down.

-------

a high school pal greeted me happy valentine's day this early. told me that he wanted to be the first one to greet me that.

some people are really strange, not wanting to waste a single minute. heh.

and speaking of high school, i seriously browsed my yearbook for the first time ever.

gave me lots to think about... and fits of laughter.

-------

tagaytay today, baguio tomorrow. it's the perfect christmas break... but for two reasons.

i have a sprained foot. and sprains hate cold weather. as luck would there be, i also got the flu from santa!

and... how about homework? don't forget the exams too!

anyway, i played tennis here with a newfound friend this morning. i was owned miserably. either i really suck, or she was really damn good.

and yes, sprain or no sprain, it would've been the same.

-------

more tennis whatnot:

"balls are meant to be lost
rackets are made to be broken
in the name of tennis,
love [matches] happens!
(amen!)"
-rj? and gab

tennis + acads = stress
but tennis is love! and love = 0.
thus, acads = stress.
furthermore, no acads = no stress!

-------

Tennis UP will celebrate its first anniversary next year! special events in connection to that will be posted as a follow-up.

with that, happy 2008 to the world!!!

2007-12-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

...and there was me, the dumbest smartass ever.

it was a grave mistake, but i don't want to have any regrets.

a few choice words and change was bound to happen, sooner than later.

but then, maybe change will be for the better... no, scratch that. i hope it will be.

though i might have to beg everyone to stop egging me on. [please, please, please!]

-------
*is it just in our locale, or is everyone having buko juice for noche buena?

**christmas and schoolwork is like oil and water. don't bother yet, we're supposed to be on holiday!

well, a glorious season to all!

2007-12-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

...and there were fireworks.

the night sky glittered. my heart was ablaze. your eyes... the brightest of them all, such a spectacle...

it was the perfect setting... yet i managed to screw up.

next thing i know, even the ashes forgot to leave any trace.

i looked back, and what remained was you, just you and your silence.

-------

and there was evening, and there was morning... the first day.

and there was you, just you and your silence.

-------

happy holidays to everyone!!! i really suck, blog maintenance-wise, don't i?? (",)

[Plug] UP-Diliman: Got balls?

2007-12-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

Are you a tennis player? Fan? Enthusiast? Analyst? Bookworm? Newbie? Wannabe learner? If you are interested, then join TennisUP, the first and only recognized tennis organization in UP-Diliman!

Learn the game, stay healthy, have fun, and get to meet more people like you! Sign up at our AS Walk booth from Dec. 3 to 7! Contact me (09164159770) or Pauline (09064736040) for more details. See you there! (",)

2007-11-03T16:39:00.000+08:00

i know some of you have read about this already, but former world #1 and many-time champion Martina Hingis retired a couple of days ago, after being allegedly tested as positive for cocaine usage.

cocaine is a highly addictive stimulant drug that produces profound feelings of pleasure or a heightened state of self-confidence and euphoria. unlike steroids, which are composed of certain hormones that can enhance certain physical capabilities of athletes, cocaine does nothing of the sort for athletes.

for an athlete, anything unnecessary is deemed harmful; and even if it helps, a true athlete would rather play in the spirit of the game than win it at all costs. Martina, a top-class player and a proven winner, definitely knows this more than anyone else. she has denied the allegations, of course - and i believe her. my hope is that she be cleared of these accusations and that it will not undermine her on- and off-court achievements that make up for a legacy.

"My weapon on the tennis court is and always was one single thing: the game, the ingenuity on court. And for this style of tennis, there is only one performance enhancer - the love of the game." - Martina Hingis, in her official statement.

=======

errata:

in my entry "Sleep mode" last 2.11.07, four, not three friends of mine celebrated the first day of their new ages.

in another entry "Paranoia" last 26.10.07, the word is "fictitious," not "fictional".

enjoy your weekend.

Sleep mode

2007-11-02T15:13:00.000+08:00

death is but sleeping through eternity. -anonymous

for the last two days, i have slept at least 25 of 39 hours (as of presstime). that accounted for a no-update yesterday. in fact, i'm off to bed in a little while, again. you see, it's just a full week before the second semester resumes, and i doubt that i'll be getting enough sleep by then. guess i'll see most of you next week.

p.s. i have three friends celebrating their birthdays today (2.11.07). happy birthday to all of you. (",)

CRS...

2007-10-31T15:39:00.000+08:00

...made my day. again.

19 units, good schedule, a 2.25 in tenpin bowling. no cwts, but that can wait.

and i was thinking of signing up for an RA slot. there was no need for that, apparently.

CRS loves me, i guess - i know some freshies who are still waist-deep in the "underload" mire.

next up is this "manual online" enlistment, which sounds like the newest oxymoron to me.

and more good news: tri-coll priority. but that's bad news for everyone else, 'no?

My ten grains' worth

2007-10-30T18:28:00.000+08:00

earlier this day i brought josh (the bunso) with me to UP to do a few rounds around the academic oval. to facilitate his "jogging," i set the pace for him by brisk-walking a bit. however, the boy slowed down after a quarter-length, and by the halfway mark he was looking for a shortcut. well, at least he made it to three-quarters...

then we went to the tennis courts and waited for tim and ronald. that was when a text message informed me that no one will be bringing tennis balls along. good thing the club had some, and let us borrow them (heck, tennis without balls? that's frustrating).

josh was hilarious - his memory storage is limitless, much to the demise of his kuya; tim and ronald just kept on feeding him with the latest chismis about kuya gab, most of which even i am not aware of (i prefer not to disclose them here). but i had fun, and in the end, that was all that mattered. maybe i should bring him there again sometime else.

anyway, here's a nice site which i had knowledge of through mica, a vocabulary quiz formulated by the United Nations World Food Program; every answer you get correctly donates 10 grains of rice to the UN "to help end world hunger."

ten grains is almost negligible, see, but a hundred grains fills up only a fraction of the standard size cup. i tried counting and got up to five, maybe six hundred - but even that much was not able to account for a half-cup. they've collected a grand total 420 million grains as of yesterday; how many sacks would that make?

it's not enough to feed more than 85% of the world, but it's a good avenue to do your part in achieving the dream of eradicating poverty. hmmmm.

La, la, la.

2007-10-29T17:37:00.000+08:00

by this afternoon, troops of vehicles will be making its way down Himlayan Road and into the cemetery it leads to. i want to go out somewhere, but i don't want to be stuck in that logjam during the return trip.

so i ended up being talked around by my dad to, well, "make our house look like a home," whatever he meant by that. actually, i'm not finished doing that yet. just nicking some time off.

anyway, here's everyone looking forward to the halloween/all saints' weekend, but i'm thinking about yuletide. dunno why, but christmas signals new year, and new year... makes me feel older. blah. i'm blaming the paint fumes again for this.

about the previous poll, uhmm... a friend of mine told me that the results were distorted. still haven't thought of a new one.

i'm goin' blog hopping now. i wish i had something to write about as well, just like the others. hoooo. a friend commented, "there's no emotion in your posts. what happened?"

is she right?

Bored?

2007-10-28T15:47:00.000+08:00

i feel for you, so try some of these:

1) Happy Tree Friends. i'm not a fan of cartoon violence, but... there was simply no choice.
resistance is futile.

2) Jessica Zafra. what's not to love?

3) Reader's Digest. ohh, there's always room for something new.

4) banana chips and milk. chill before serving. best before sundown.

still bored? get some sleep. but before that, i'm thinking about another poll. suggestions would be most welcome.

GC?

2007-10-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

true happiness is when you expect it not. -anonymous

and of all things that could make me happy, here's a very unlikely source: CRS. yep, the very CRS which we [UP-Diliman chumps] all condemn for its slothly behavior and unrelenting favoritism [to those who have priority status].

well, it hasn't let me down yet, out of my five tries at the system. 16 out of 19 units isn't bad at all, and i got them in one solid run. but the better part? ahh, two days ago, i checked the View Grades section, and it brought mixed reactions out of my innards:

german 11 (3 units): 2.0
geog 1 (3 units): 1.25

a 2.0 in german? that's very much undeserved. i got a 4.0 in one of her exams, and, well, it was like i gave up on that subject even before the semester's halfway mark. but then... 1.25 in geog? that sucks. i took this subject a bit more seriously than one of my two majors. and i get this out of a virtually uno-able course? damn you sir!!! [haha, kidding :)]

last night, i checked it again, and it had me dancing on my heels.

psych 108 (3 units): 1.0
lingg 1 (3 units): 1.0
psych 110 (5 units): 1.50

this sem was supposed to be my worst, in terms of motivation and effort, especially in my two majors. but given the fact that i learned a lot while having loads of fun, i didn't care what happened to my grades. until now.

psych 110 was a major bummer; well, i didn't like statistics that much. but i did in his exams well enough to earn that grade. but psych 108? heck, he gave me a flat 1 for my half-page papers and awfully below-par quizzes? and lingg 1 - i computed my projected grade here, and it stood between 1.25 and 1.5.

nothing short of a miracle, but i'll take it. (thank You Lord!!!! GWA after 3 sems and 1 summer: 1.314)

just like that, and my morale is on a high... but then again, it always is. (",)

[Fully Updated Week Slam, accomplished!]

Paranoia

2007-10-26T17:35:00.000+08:00

my dad arrived early, but he forgot to pay some bills. since he was already tired, he asked me to do it for him... and i had no choice but to comply, gladly - it's been two days since i've gone outside.

while waiting for a jeep, one long-haired guy wearing a yellow sando and cargo shorts approached me and asked:

"boy, anong oras na?"

"ah, sandali lang po..." the kind-hearted yours truly replied as i took my cellphone out from my pocket (i don't wear a watch) to answer his question. "...alas-tres po."

"alas-tres? okay, salamat." he then looked up to a dark sky, and muttered under his breath, "naiwan ko kasi cellphone ko eh... baka traffic na mamaya..."

then out of nowhere, a thought hit me: he's after your cellphone.

it was a completely baseless notion, but it made me chill nonetheless. a jeepney finally came, and so i entered. to my horror, he followed suit, and even took the space by my right - on which pocket i had my phone.

i told you, he's after your phone. he asked the time to find out where you placed it. by this time i was starting to feel stupid for being such a nice-ass.

seconds after, we both paid our fare. according to that sequence, i'd be going down first, so that cooled me down a bit, and i was ready to throw the whole issue out. until the driver slowed down upon seeing a bearded guy hailing his jeepney.

it turned out that mister beard-o was an acquaintance of yellow sando guy. furthermore, it happened that the only space available was between me and his friend, thus he took a seat there. the only comfort that i had was knowing that i was sitting closest to the jeepney entrance. if ever things went whack, i could make a jump for it.

while pondering on my options, i felt fingers grasp the right side of my jeans, as if it was pulling something out. even through the cold and windy ride, icy sweat was rising from my chest.

"bayad po," grunted the beard-o. i heaved another sigh of relief within me. minutes later, i breezed out of the jeepney intact. then i realized that the bills were clutched in my hands. my heart stopped thumping for a moment as i checked my wallet for the money. after rummaging for a bit, i cracked into a wide smile, nearly laughing at myself.

what in the world was i thinking? i wondered, as i looked out from a jeepney window on my way back home. that was plain judgmental and overanalytical, harsh even. hmm...

by this time i was almost zoning out. a thin, lanky, loosely dressed guy yanked me out of it, though, pressing a pointed thing unto my ribs. i stole glances at other passengers - one guy wearing all black, another donning a bandana. both were equipped with sharp knives. the rest were obviously shocked at the turn of events.

"boy, cellphone mo lang. bilis."

=======

purely fictional, don't worry. that's what happens when you're stuck at home forced to breathe paint residual odors together with your usual oxygen.

anyway, to my QueSci colleagues, i found out Sir Lorenzo's new raket: writing/editing sudoku puzzlebooks. he has a 5- or 6-edition series, currently out in bookstores near you.

Not this time... maybe next

2007-10-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

i'm two posts and two days away from a Fully Updated Week Slam. sembreak's this uneventful, see. especially when your dad requires you to stay indoors while the sun shines in its brightest outside.

gawd, can't imagine my life without this pc. at least i have Yahoo! or Peyups or Friendster or YouTube as accommodating acquaintances.

other than that, i'm officially boooh-red. toodle-oo!!!

I'll do better next time, promise

2007-10-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

dad: guys, i saw a sign of the Second Coming.
me: seriously?
mike: ano naman yun?
dad: gabo's eating fish! (eyes widen, approach my plate) look!!

ahhh. i love my family. hahaha.

had to rise early this morning, running a few errands again for my dad and sibs. went to their school, and lo, behold, my eyes were met by dozens of schoolkids, parents, and educators, half of them waving flaglets of different nations.

me: kuya, ano po meron?
guard: ah, United Nations Day. pumaparada na yung mga bata ngayon.

wow, what a sight. these kids don't know anything about chaotic world written in today's newspapers; one guy was holding an Israeli flag and a Syrian one in one hand, an American and a North Korean in another. and more of the sort. pretty cool, and the costumes were hands-down awesome. one thing i noticed though: no Filipino flags. how realistic.

after that, i went back home and slept before heading to a 2 pm bonding session with some co-apps. i swore to my dad that i'd leave early... ended up spending 4 hours and all of my money. but i had fun, though.

anyway, i'm dead tired. i'm even surprised at how much i've written given the exhaustion. now off i fly. tschus!!

Logically random.

2007-10-23T15:53:00.000+08:00

random chaos eventually molds into perfect logic - anonymous

two days ago i opened my own Multiply account, mainly so that i have access to others' pictures and whatnot, but otherwise it's virtually empty. what caught my attention, however, was Mutiply's conception of a network, something i haven't seen anywhere else yet. it distinguishes a friend from a colleague, neighbor, life partner, family, and business partner. so american, pretty much like my attempt at eenglisch. funnily, however, it's the latest fad, even in the confines of the Filipino context, which is good proof of the existence of neo-colonialism. hmmm.

i sent my first five drafts to my employer-slash-benefactor today. if everything goes well, i get paid; but if there's even one typographical or grammatical error that i overlooked or was unaware of... my pay gets cut in half. and my full pay goes at Php400 per 1000-word set, which is more or less cheap labor, given the quality of write-ups that they expect... but here's hoping that i get a bonus for passing my drafts three days ahead of schedule. (heh!)

ahh, that's all thanks to this damned rain. i planned to play tennis or jog in UP today. worse, weatherpeople are hinting 'typhoons' as of presstime. (lesson learned: sembreak + rain = stagnation) so i planned to please myself by watching Prison Break's season 3, but video streaming sites deleted them all (i can clearly imagine hearing one atenean friend of mine - copyright issues? CHE!!!). same went for Heroes, and i don't want to download videos yet, i fear that something might go wrong...

which reminds me of something that actually went wrong: 1st Semester, AY '07-'08. you see, Geog 1 and 1.25 don't sound like they fit to be next to each other, right? then there's that German 11 choke - i had to take a final exam! heck. and i'm not talking about my majors yet!

anyway, enough of that. tell you what: don't mess with ol' Grampy Time. you'll end a loser - i adjusted all our house, mobile, and computer clocks to half an hour advanced; same with all the personal wrist watches. this morning i was supposed to pay some bills for my dad in the bank; me, being the ultimate procrastinator, completely forgot all about it until 2:30 pm, when he called to ask me about the payments. i lied to him, then after the call ended, i rushed to the nearest bank, which was a half-hour away from the house. banks close at 3:00 pm sharp; when i arrived there, i learned that it was just 2:00 pm... and that i was a big sucker.

with that all said, i'm off to play 3D ping pong. auf wiedersehen!

And for today's news...

2007-10-22T11:47:00.000+08:00

Mona Lisa had eyebrows. [GMANews.tv]
Ginagawang Ocean Park sa Luneta, nasunog. [GMANews.tv]
Dumbledore is gay. [Inquirer.net]
Nalbandian stuns Federer in three. [Yahoo! Sports]
Ladybugs kill pests in NY. [GMANews.tv]
Donya pala si Marimar. [GMANews.tv]
Britney's all over the news... again. [Yahoo!]
85% of RP health care professionals now abroad. [PhilStar.com]
Glorietta death toll up to 11. [ABS-CBNNews.com]
DOT: RP still a safe tourist destination. [ABS-CBNNews.com]
Sam denies Piolo? [ABS-CBN.com]

seriously, today's world news is the most boring and factual tragicomedy ever written. you'll find more details by clicking on the source links, but you might have to do some searching when you're there as well. i did try direct-linking, but i'm afraid it won't work (it didn't in my dad's laptop, see).

anyway, i set my personal sembreak record just this morning, when i slept for 11 hours and 5 minutes (10:50 pm last night - 9:55 am today). next attempt to extend the record later this evening. and... did i mention my index finger? it's blackish-blue right now from the knuckle joint up. spells trouble for my part-time job and my just-blossoming tennis career.

you'll hear from me in a while, regardless.

Sembreak

2007-10-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

in response to your having limited experience with life in general, it is, alas, a truism that all writers have to deal with. either you're in front of that desktop writing, or you're out there having experiences. since you both want to write and have experiences, you'll have to do more with less - and that is practically the essence of writing.

this, a paraphrased quote from the movie Ask the Dust, hit a bulls-eye smack into my soul.

and so, hello again, bloggy. this time i offer no excuses for my negligence, as it was my choice to supposedly allot time for this site's maintenance. please accept, for the umpteenth time if you can even remember, my apologies.

anyway, sembreak - the three-week gap between your last exam or project and the registration period, the grace period before another nerve-wracking and physically demanding term, the days when daily allowance is nil, the age when ennui rules over its dominion of students - is here.

i don't want this break to be wasted; it's too precious and rare to be taken for granted. thus i laid out my agenda 4 an UPbeat 4th sem:

plump up the previous term was a flame short of hell, and i felt that i took a toll on my once-improving stature. now's the time to sleep early, rise late, and eat plenty.
tennisUP ahh, yes. my newfound love will not waver even if we're three jeeps apart. final rites are just lurking around the corner, my dear co-apps.
write-ups it's this simple: i need cash, and a peso for every word ain't that bad, i'd say. the job's to inject some sense into it, right sirs and ma'ams?
cheer up! definitely not the time to smart a frown - i have at least 5 more semesters for that. so show me some love and that cheeky, toothy, contagious smile!

the title sounds like one of those promising yet currently stagnating SONA platforms that our dear President promotes year by year. here's hoping that mine doesn't turn out likewise. lady luck doesn't seem to be that lenient towards me, though - earlier this afternoon my youngest bro whacked my right index finger with a badminton racquet, albeit accidentally.

with that said, i fly off to bed. *swoosh...*

Murphy's Law

2007-09-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

remember him who said something like this: if something might possibly go wrong, it definitely will go wrong sooner than later.

looking for proof? well, yesterday, i was intent on reviewing for my psych 108 exam the next day (which is today). however, when i was to start on my ever reliable bluebook-notebook, a glass of water decided to tumble smack on my shabby notes. drying it took overnight, and i was fortunate enough to recognize my handwriting through the mess.

here's another one: this very post should've been published one hour ago, but by pure chance, my dad came along and shooed me off the desktop. now i'm sitting pretty on front of mommy's laptop... rewriting in verbatim some portions of this text.

anyway, it's one more month to freedom for the UPD studentry. yes, i considered the two-week lag, and yes, this tireless guy needs a good dose of rest. i won't mind bloody red x's on my papers, i just want to lock myself up inside the house, enjoy the cushions for once.

i'm quite sure most of you would agree, as i'm probably not the only one who had three exams in two weeks, practicals in bowling, loads of tennis practice, a six-game match, intermittent asthma attacks for three weeks, and bill payment errands, among others.

the roadblocks? maybe some reporting tasks, exams, quizzes, 15 hours community service, job orders, financial constraints, bad hair days, shallow-breath tempests, and more trivial stuff to come. take my word, friends: remember Murphy.

anyway, some announcements:

1) UP lost again, this time to our Katips neighbors... again. duh. why am i even including this? because, the final score is 59-93, the largest losing margin this season, and probably one for the record books.
2) to all UPD Psych majors: does pavlov ring a bell? the new Psych shirt is out now, for only Php 150! reservations can be arranged at PHAn Lobby until september 11, for only 50 bucks. (tiff, i hope this counts as spreading the word, hmm? :D)

for the last time, take heed, and remember Murphy.

Dr. Juan Dela Cruz, RN

2007-09-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

sabi nila, ang kinabukasan daw ng isang tao ay nagsisimula sa kanyang mga panaginip at pangarap sa nakaraan.

kung gayon nga, isang panaginip lamang ang mananatili sa aking gunita, pagkat isang pangarap lang rin ang tinatanaw ko sa hinaharap...

mama! papa! kagabi, nanaginip ako, naglalakad ako sa isang ospital,
nakaputi, nakasalamin, tapos merong nakasabit na goma dun sa leeg ko, yung
ginagamit para pakinggan yung heart...
aba, gabo, doktor ka sa panaginip mo?
opo! kasi gusto ko rin talagang magdoktor!
naks, para ka palang si Rizal!

-------

puting kay liwanag, kay linis mula kuwelyo hanggang sakong. antiparang singkapal ng mga librong namasid at naintindihan. stethoscope na tila palamuting medalyon na ipinagbunyi na sa maraming lugar, sa mahabang panahon. panis ang angas sa respeto't pagpapakumbaba, ika nga ni blanco. ganun na lang sila dapat tingalain at hangaan.

tsaka hindi birong makumpara kay Dr. Rizal, pambansang bayani at doktor, kahit sa titulo lamang (singit ko lang, natuto akong magbasa nung dalawa't kalahating taong gulang pa lang ako, encyclopaedia britannica yung mga hilig ko nun. tapos type ko rin yung katsupoy style dati. pwede na ba?). kung tingin mo mahirap sumunod sa mga yapak nina Bonifacio, Jacinto, Del Pilar, at Mabini, medyo mas madali nang kaunti dun yung mag-aral ng sampung taon.

at oo nga pala, tinutulungan nila yung mga taong may sakit. ngunit naroon pa rin ba yung nararapat na pagpupugay natin sa kanila sa kasalukuyan, sa propesyon o sa manggagamot? bago natin kilatisin, kaunting trivia:

una, ilang mamayang Pilipino ang dapat na naka-toka sa isang doktor, kung ipagpapalagay natin na ang bawat Pinoy ay talagang may karapatan nga sa isang matiwasay at malusog na pamumuhay? sagot: higit sa 8,000 Pinoy.

ikalawa, kung ang kasalukuyang populasyon ng Pilipinas ay tinatayang nasa 85 milyon katao, ilang doktor ang tinatayang naririto sa 'Pinas ngayon? sagot: higit sa 11,000 na doktor

ikatlo, ilang Pilipinong doktor ang nangibang-bansa na ngayong 2007? sagot: higit sa 2,500

ika-apat, magkano ang inilalaan ng gobyerno para sa pag-aaruga sa kalusugan ng isang Pilipino? sagot: maliit pa sa sampung sentimo.

at ika-lima, magkano ang suweldo ng isang doktor sa Pilipinas kada buwan? ng isang nars sa labas ng Pilipinas? sagot: 35,000-50,000 piso; 4,000 US dolyar (200,000 piso) pataas.

ngayong nabanggit ko na lahat ng iyan, ano pang dapat halungkatin?

isipin niyo si juan/a dela cruz, nagmumuni-muni ukol sa kanyang kinabukasan: "bakit pa ako tutuloy sa medisina, mag-aaral ng sampung taon, mabubulok sa bansang medyo bulok na? eh kung magnanars na lang ako, apat na taon lang, easy money na, makakalabas pa ako ng bansa,
makakapag-asawa pa ako ng arabo o amerikano!" o diba, si Pinoy, dapat praktikal, tuso, wais! at di mo nga naman sila masisisi sa hangaring makamit ang isang mahalimuyak na bukas... sa labas ng 'Pinas.

eh pano yung mga nagtapos na ng medisina sa PGH, sa USTe, sa Medical City? pano kung gusto rin nilang lumuwas ng bansa, at doon na rin ipagpatuloy ang kanyang propesyon? mas mataas naman ang kita ng doktor sa nars diba? kaso sabi ng mga banyaga, yung mga Pinoy at Pinay, banban yung mga nagturo diyan eh, yung mga kaalaman nila, pang-nars lang dito. kung gusto nila, mag-aral muna sila dito, tapos mag-nurse siya, tsaka siya magdoktor.

nakakatamad nga namang mag-aral pa ulit, tsaka mabigat sa kalooban yun - parang sinabihan silang basura lang yung sampung taong iginugol nila para makarating sa kung nasaan sila ngayon, kasi sobrang taas daw ng mga pamantayan ng mga alien, este, foreigners. at totoong nangyayari ito.

pero teka - hindi sa minamaliit o isinasantabi ko ang kakayahan ng ating mga nars - sila ay kritikal na bahagi ng mga programang pangkalusugan sa kahit saang bayan. gayon din ang doktor, at iba pang mga tao tulad ng mga magsasaka, sari-sari store bantay, barbero, accountant, lawyer, guro, seaman, construction worker, drayber, at caregiver na sumusustento sa kani-kanilang mga pamilya sa Perlas ng Silangan, sila ma'y nasa loob o labas nito.

ngunit diba kay saklap nun, na mawalay sa iyong pamilya dahil iyon na lamang ang tanging paraan, dahil hindi na nabura ang kakapirasong interest sa utang ng Pilipinas, dahil hindi ka na matulungan ng pamahalaan niyo, dahil kailangan. pampalubag-loob na lang siguro para sayo kung makakasabit paluwas yung pamilya mo.

lahat na lang na may bakas ng pagka-Pinoy, naabuso na ng iba - yamang natural, teritoryo, sining, edukasyon, pamahalaan. ngayon, hinayaan na rin nating pati ang pangunahing likas na yaman ng Pilipino, ang mga tao nito, na mahakot na rin ng iba. nakakainis, nakakalungkot, nagaganap.

ani isang kolumnista (si de Quiros yata?) sa isang kilalang pahayagan, "if OFWs are our heroes, what about those who chose to stay, martyrs?"

sabi naman dati ng kaibigan ko, gab, ang martir mo talaga. kahit na ibang klaseng pagkamartir yung tinutukoy niya noon, kakaririn ko na rin, pre-med naman ang course ko eh. tsaka balita ko, yung idol kong si Dr. Rizal, martir din.

-------

sanggunian: ilang mga alaala sa economics class nung 4th year high school, hiraya blogsite, isang revised paper ng batchmate ko, kule, at ang aking mga panaginip at pangarap.

=======

5 years ago, sinurvey kaming magpipinsan ng lolo namin patungkol sa mga propesyong gusto naming tahakin pagdating ng panahon. syempre ang gaganda ng mga sagot namin, doktor, sundalo, bombero, pulis, guro, abogado, at kung anu-ano pa. pero pinakamalupit talaga yung sagot ng bunso kong kapatid...

lolo: eh ikaw, joshua, paglaki mo magiging ano ka?
joshua: eh di malaki na po ako!

hay, ang sarap maging bata.

nil. nada. none.

2007-08-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

what's the use of waking up early for your only three-hour class for the day when there won't be any class?

where else but in UP do you find security guards and cafeteria concessionaires filling up 4-star sudoku puzzles in a jiffy?

when was the last time i actually read my high school yearbook?

did i see a red moon when i searched for it?

why do i even bother asking myself these questions?

haha. wala lang. but the answers to the first four questions are: nothing, nowhere, never, no. again, wala lang.

p.s. erratum: the final deficit in the UP-dlsu match was 28 points, not 18. sucks to be a maroon fan.

bad hair day?

2007-08-27T16:23:00.000+08:00

my blog is not well-maintained. that is usually the first thought that comes to my mind when bloghopping. next moment, i laugh at my notions dismissively, even if its truth stands. thing is, i can only twitch this site during my spare time, which happens to be now.

anyway, my father forced me to a haircut a week before schedule. i dunno why, but 'pops has developed a monthly angst against my hair, and he always finds ways to get me into a barber shop. last saturday, he did again. while we were watching the last moments of the la salle-UP game...

pops: anong next match?
me: ateneo-feu.
p: ah, feu yan.
m: wag naman. kawawa na ateneo eh, 3 straight na rin yun.
p: talaga? sige, tingin mo ilang points mananalo ateneo?
m: siguro mga sampu. bakit?
p: ah, ganun? sige, ganito. pag hindi nanalo ang ateneo by 10 or more...m: ano po?p: hmmm... alam ko na! sasamahan mo akong magpagupit. hindi, magpapagupit ka!, tapos, dapat pareho tayo ng gupit!
m: ano???!!! seryoso? ayoko nga-
p: okey na ah! sige, magdasal ka na gabo!
m: *silently* syet!

ateneo did win... by eight points. and before i could blame kirk long or chris tiu or anyone else for missing their free throws, my dad and i were both sitting at barbers' chairs. and there goes my short hair... shortened.

moral: gambling is detrimental to your image. [hello, erap.] do at your own risk.

p.s. updated active links, right at the sidebar. for those who i missed out, please advise me. also, i recommend using Blackle over its derivative, Google. comparatively, it saves 15 watts per page load. so if your jumper-free meralco bill is still posting alarming rates, start saving through small ways like this. unless you hate black.

sunday stumper

2007-08-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

after two weeks of interrupted classes and inclement weather, four straight days seem to be an unprecedented feat, with added bonus in the return of the previous weather patterns of morning sun and afternoon rains.

but even as the storms have drawn away, the fighting maroons are still in shambles, dismantled by the green archers 61-89. according to my younger brother it was 69-81, but i happened to realize that he was just trying to raise any hopes that i had left for the team. well, honestly, i'd be happy for even if they managed to lose just by a dozen, i'd be saying that the effort is there, i'd be lauding their desire to stay in the game, and all that against a clear-cut final four entry... although maybe there's next year for that.

anyway, i've had a series of mood swings lately. one day i feel that extra bounce, extra hop in my every step, like a child waiting for his candy rations; the next day my entirety's not even interested in budging an inch, and the day after my nerves go haywire, utterly confused with the inconsistencies.

tennis training resumed last wednesday, also affected by that virtual and cold three-week cold. faulty jitters were abundant, but somehow i was confident with my strokes, and it showed - more control, more power, less errors. meanwhile, i realized that i were only two days away from getting my eyeglasses back, thus making me assume that things can only get better.

the saturday that followed was disastrous. i did get my glasses back, i saw the ball better, but my play was a far cry from wednesday's, and that was when i was fortunate enough to slight the ball. pity it had to happen on a day when sky and wind conditions were tennis ideals.

coincidentally, my swings were better when i removed the specs. later in the day, i accidentally left them [glasses] at a friend's place. a sign that fate wants me to part ways with my spectacled past? loads of crap, but even the best poor-sighted athletes rarely use their visual aids during play. i ought to learn from them.

putting things in perspective, i lost 7 pounds (reduced food intake) and P1.5K for that newly-refracted, silver-rimmed pair. i will definitely not sleep with them on.

the ray of light

2007-08-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

home is behind / the world ahead /
and there are many paths to tread /
through shadow / through the end of night /
until the stars are all alight /
mist and shadow / cloud and shade /
all shall fade / all shall fade //

my friends, thank you for pointing out the joys of a six-day weekend. as for my part, the star wars bi-trilogy, the harry potter series (1-5), and if anyone recognizes pippin's song, the lord of the rings, all of them. that's thirty-plus hours of viewing time. i wish i hadn't started on hp, though. they might be at par with other box office hits in terms of dollar sales, but in overall grandeur, nahh, not even two cuts away.

regardless, it was an upgrade over excruciatingly waiting for a fighting maroon to exhibit some miniscule form of defense.

meanwhile, who said we have to wait for a "ber" to start christmas festivities? or maybe it's just my dad who fired a gun too early, but i heard him singing white christmas two days ago.

actually, i'm running out of creative juices, but with a stroke of luck, a shred of tomorrow's news, coming from a reliable source through y!m express:

m*_t*: THE BEGINNING OF THE END... OF TOFI! JOIN THE AUGUST 21 MOBILIZATION, 1130AM AT THE AS LOBBY! EMULATE PUP WHERE 5K STUDENTS WALKED OUT OF THEIR CLASSINGS, CAUSING THE JUNKING OF TOFI. PLS PASS - SPARE and UPX

look, i don't have anything against them fighting for their own causes, for others' causes for that matter. but this guy just instructed us to emulate another school's histrionics when we should be the trendsetters. and we are part a University, an institution dedicated to help our families and fellowmen through the best education our country and taxes can offer. so please, if i may say this, let our action materialize inside the classrooms, not out of it.

however, what struck me the most was one of the two organizations purportedly involved: UP Xientia. Xientia, for starters, is derived from Xientian, a term used by students and alumni of my alma mater (QCSHS) to identify themselves as part of the said institution, usually within themselves, but nowadays even to others.

the latter was reinforced with the advent of this new organization, which apparently aimed to gather UP-D Xientian alumni, for whatever the cause they agreed upon. i, along with many others, was invited to this organization, but declined as i did not see the need to differentiate myself from others who do not come from my alma mater, if ever that was their aim in the first place, and i thought it was.

obviously, i missed the mark by a mile. i can't help but wonder if the whole organization thinks as one in this issue, as claimed by that announcement above. now i wish classes would be suspended tomorrow as well, for whatever reason anyone might mind conceiving.

anyway, the sun was up earlier this day, from the east it rose. the clouds were nowhere behind it. with sheer stupidity, i went up to the rooftop, as always, whenever i needed a boost of inspiration. i saw my own shadow, long and flat against the sloping roof. and there i found it - my writer's epiphany. you love it when it happens. i'm already working on it.

p.s. i would like your opinion on a poll i would be posting. details are to follow. thank you.

the sick mind

2007-08-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

the last time i went to a hospital to visit my sick lola, i ended up confined on the same room with her, on counts of mild pneumonia, severe asthma, influenza, and mild tuberculosis. and two weeks after lola was released, i was still there. i was a grade 3 student back then, missing at least 15 school days and a field trip. worse, from then on, the cute, chubby kid that i was started dying, and gave birth to the sickly, thin figure that i am now.

a week ago, and eight years later, lola was sick again. last time it was about kidney stones, this time diabetes. 'twas a good thing one of her daughters (a tita of mine) worked before at the philippine heart center, so she was rushed there without worrying about how hard it would be to get a decent room for her (not an establishment on earth is free of politics, i believe). so there she was again.

and today, i was tasked to bring some home cooking to her. memories of almost a decade ago were triggered, recalled, even primed. but i assured myself, oh, but my mom is there.

but then, she was also there, eight years ago.

anyway, i had no choice. and besides, depending on announcements regarding class suspensions, i just might have to do it again the next day, and the next, and the next... so i better get used to it.

nearly an hour later, i had arrived, towing two tupperwares-full of sinigang na bangus and rice with me into an elevator, went up four floors as the guard instructed me back down at the lobby (felisa limpin? room 443c, petal d po, ayun po yung elevator), and started on the series of corridors up a head.

suddenly, my body went chill, as i haply sniffed out some murky, unpleasant odor. of course, it was just air conditioning and the usual clean banyo smell always present within hospital confines, but my system reacted to it violently, at least for a few moments.

i got there alive. lola was stationed right at the left wing of three separate cubicles only separated by dividers, privacy only provided by curtains. she was half-asleep on her bed, iv tubings pierced on the veins of her wrist, the lights dim; then i saw my mom, who looked like she didn't have any sleep, watchfully sitting on a thin bench beside the bed. i set my pasalubong on a nearby table, then sat down beside my mom.

that was when i noticed: my hands were dry and shivering. my lungs were starting to constrict, my every breath strained with wheezing. then, as if preordained by time, an unused electronic thermometer, hiding in one of the drawers, took my gaze. it was still boxed, but the gadget manual was sticking out. i pulled it out, unfolded it, and started reading.

press the button to turn on/off. when 37.0C appears on the digital screen, it is ready to take measurements. for oral or rectal temperatures, one minute; for axilliary temperatures, 2-3 minutes. a slow beeping rhythm means that the temperature is within non-fever range (<37.8c);>

axilliary means armpits, eh? so i turned the thing on, waited for the said beeps... and they came. however, rapidly. i comprehended the digits as 3-9-0, then took the manual again, trying not to believe at the device. yet there was nothing wrong with the thermometer.

that was the last straw. "mama, uuwi na po ako."

i was 15 minutes and a jeep away from home when i learned that classes were suspended around midday due to supertyphoon egay. however, the sun was lurking over the clouds. i basked in that patch of sunlight, thanking each drop of saltwater coming out of my pores. the sun is a lovely thing to behold, i thought.

right after that thought, a raindrop fell from the heavens. the chill returned, but now it took more effort to breathe. seven followed, then tens, then dozens. and i was still fifteen minutes away from home. the wind was harsh, the storm relentless, i, drenched, stuck, in pain, and without an umbrella.

a jeep finally came. i half-ran, half-wobbled into the vehicle, found a quarter of a seat, nearly sat on an elderly woman beside the spot, squeezed my lean frame in, but i was falling. before all went black, i heard someone screaming.

-------

"gabo, gising! mamayang hapon pa klase mo diba? daanan mo ng pagkain si lola sa heart center, mamayang mga alas-onse."

=======

a few notes:

1. saw a replay of the ust-dlsu 2nd round match earlier. sharon yu (dlsu) wasn't wearing glasses, and i thought she looked horrible. diane querrer... duling yata siya?
2. i don't remember mentioning my younger sib taking the upcat. i'll be passing his admu application form tomorrow. (perhaps i'll see you, miles? and bring along the others too, if you please? teehee.)
3. state u was supposed to lose to uste today. supertyphoon egay didn't want that, but it wanted us to get our 9th loss against our friends in katipunan. not much of a difference, hmm?
4. honestly, i miss having classes. even if it means the destruction of my two eyes, a severe headache and tons of stress. but then, the government bogeymen say wait until 11 pm tonight. sheesh.

caught up... barely.

2007-08-14T17:34:00.000+08:00

(last of a 3-series special)

i'm *cough* dead *sneeze* sick *faint*. lately i've been snacking on caps and tabs like they were popcorn, hoping that drinking water encourages a placebo effect, and experiencing early morning asthma attacks twice its normal occurence rate. and ever since i accidentally slept on my eyeglasses, i've had five days worth of sore eyes (and nearly a long exam), a very strained left eye and a virtually helpless right, deep-set eyes being showcased to everyone, and not a day without eye-mo, as my eyes seem to be waiting for just one big kamot before all turns red.

all these, plus the irregular weather, the slew of national holidays, a glaring lack in extra-curricular activities, the absence of friends and usual companions, and mental pressures led to a school life burnout, wherein everything seems to be tiring and/or boring. imagine: i have 12 units worth on mondays and thursdays, and those are the days when either a professor called sick or classes are off by chance. i mean, what are the odds?

my dad would tell me half-jokingly that it's all in the head. i hope he's right.

=======

three incentive papers.
two film showings.
a quiz, a practical, an exam, tons of readings.
15 hours community service. 0 hours completed.
a prospective cssp reg assistant.
19 units next semester, including two 5-unit courses.
2.5k pesos of expenditures before the end of this month.
borderline balance in my atm.
another UP loss.
two months before their application process ends.
a still empty, partially crumpled tennisUP sigsheet.
muscle pains and slight weight loss.
a need for inspiration.
nostalgic dreams.
a dismissing smirk.
a cheery smile.

p.s. happy birthday to everyone who had birthdays from june to tomorrow. dami nyo eh.
p.s.s. jessica zafra rules. jessica alba is hot.
p.s.s.s. errata: sorry for raising your hopes a bit too early, UP fans. the writer was referring to preseason performances. but they'll do great nonetheless.

catching up: two

2007-08-09T15:13:00.000+08:00

(part 2 of an n-series special)

so far, we've had four suspensions of classes virtually nationwide. and i'm not complaining, but... i wanna learn! and having a bumlike lifestyle doesn't help, just when i learned how to wake up early and all those whatnot.

and the rains... ah. they came in two months late. why? remember hurricane katrina and that big earthquake back then? they both literally shook the world, tilting it off its axis by two more degrees. unfortunately, our government relies on a poor, outdated knowledge base, thus they didn't know about it, so two months later, and having a threatening dry spell at hand, they are forced to administer cloud seeding for the survival of our agribusiness sector.

well, as of now our lands are still relatively dry, and children are forced to stay within the confines of their homes (or commercial centers, probably), thus cutting short any academic momentum gained from early june up to last tuesday. at least that's how i feel right now, and there are more who share my sentiments, then it spells a potential problem for the current Philippine educational system as well, i.e. the start of classes being moved from june to september, american style.

but wait, at least two more holidays are to come. oooh, i can't wait.

p.s. talk about academic momentum being halted: i'm supposed to have made a write-up on cinemalaya 07's best picture, tribu, two days ago. until now i haven't started yet. sheesh.

catching up: one

2007-08-07T21:49:00.000+08:00

(part 1 of an n-series special)

inasmuch as i want to dwell on myself immediately, the UP men's basketball team says otherwise. thus i divert my attention into uaap season 70, where State U has become the laughingstock of media-misinformed rivals and faithful alike.

after one round in men's basketball, UP is currently the cellar dweller, having accumulated a 7-0 standing in favor of the losses. blame it on the coach, on the inexperience of the players, on the virtually nonexistent fanbase. but seriously, who would cheer for a team that loses by a bunch of points in a regular basis, that gives up right after halftime? point is, where has that FIGHT in the maroons gone? everyone understands that this is a year of rebuilding for the team, but heck, it's never an excuse for not trying.

worse thing is, the so-called ill luck of the men donning maroon are gravely overshadowing UP's achievement's in other sports. take the women's basketball team, for example, which earned a photograph in one of the University periodicals recently because they have not lost a single game in 5 tries, so far. our swimming team is bent on steamrolling any competition, and the tennis team is right on cue to contend for a gold. all that, and i haven't even mentioned the UP Pep yet.

ahh, finally got all that off my chest. i'm supposedly done for this entry, but someone commented on one of my previous papers regarding objectivity in reporting, and asked me what i thought of season 70's courtside reporters (i got to be paid for this one, dear). a reminder: i have no intention of offending any institution, just my two cents' worth (ranked them from worst to best):

NU - rizza diaz. what the heck, you are supposed to be a courtside reporter who tries to minimize personal bias as much as possible, not a live-game cheerleader. but perhaps, those are what you'd call... rookie mistakes.

AdU - aaron atayde. look, no bad blood, but in the media-hyped uaap, men play ball and women talk. and honestly, if i were a player on that bench, a girl's presence could do way better than a guy in boosting my morale. who knows, maybe you'll get more than a win. but you're good, really. you just happened to be a guy.

UST - diane querrer. ahh, so-so. considering that you patrol the bench of the reigning champions, you're doing fine. nothing spectacular, though. but you're definitely an upgrade over last year's reporter.

ADMU - vanna lim. had the blue and white not been my first love, i would've put you next to last. i know, it's hard replacing a lovable gal like lia cruz, and that you're clan's basically English-speaking, pero kung susubukan mo mang mag-Tagalog, please, ayusin mo naman, nakakahiya ka eh. even norman black's better than you, truth be told.

FEU - andi manzano. if you haven't noticed, as i go up the rankings, i become a bit more... er, biased. i put dj andi-9/vj andi right in the upper four because she somehow knows how the trade goes, and i think she's cute. but please, keep those mistakes to a minimum, and don't distort your face every now and then. you're not on radio, you're cute, and you're on TV. so smile, dearie!

UP - cathy untalan. aha! and the crowd goes wild. however, you have read about the bias thing by now. i also had to give her some leeway, you know, she replaced her excellency gretchen fullido and that her last courtside job was with the reigning ncaa champion san beda red lions. now she is with the league's carpetfeeders, no need telling you that she has a lot of adjusting to do.. but haven't you noticed how she towers above all other courtside reporters, coaches, and even some players?

DLSU - sharon yu. cute, and she wears glasses, plus she's doing really good for a rookie in coming to duty for last year's league absentees. and again, she wears glasses. i wonder how much fun those newly-shaved green dudes are having.

UE - tracy abad. the only non-rookie among all of them, she is two cuts above the rest; always smiles, never rattled, charismatic, very clear and concise, and it also helps that her team is winning. she is definitely who the others ought to look up to, season 70's best courtside dame. she also has sleek, long hair, for a bonus.

maybe next time, i'll start talking about me... that is, if the maroons give some justice in their losses, perhaps?

a fresh start

2007-08-03T13:54:00.000+08:00

ahhh... this should do. hello again, and welcome to lineofscythe.blogspot.com's version 2.0 beta. it has less graphics, yes, but it's sparkling white, maroon, green, and clean! and more importantly, it basically serves its purpose. i'll go for this look at least for now. however, i'm hoping that i'll be able to maintain the site updated on a regular basis. rest assured, i'm doing my best.

that's it for now until next time. toodle-oo!

2007-06-20T12:12:00.000+08:00

hallo. tell you what, i feel like that special groundhog which didn't come out to bring the good news of spring, or more like the beaver which hibernated for the next six months because of the groundhog's mysterious disappearance.

both of them are saying the same thing: it's a long winter, folks. and many things will change. for instance, i saw, for the first time, the Filipino edition of Blogger.com. and more are soon to come.

so before i forget, i'll say this now: such a rare opportunity came, and i'm taking it, as this chance might not come again because it seems that this year is the harshest of winters for me. to everyone whom i had failed, in one way or another, please take this as my most humble apologies. it's not that i don't think of contributing to your happiness, but the circumstances won't allow me. and as my way of showing my gratitude to you guys, i'll do my best with everyone in mind.

i just wish to leave even a piece of my thoughts before i disappear, seasoned by my very human emotions in its full scale and intensity. but before i do...

=======

i've been tagged. it's something i read in ate miles' blog; to be more specific, it's an internet chain game. each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about him or her, then will choose another six bloggers to tag. people who get tagged need to write in their blog 6 weird things. list their names, and inform them. this way, mother nature and grandpa time will see the weird works of their hands...

kidding aside, 6 weird things about juan gabriel l. de leon.

1. i hated my given name, even if it was not exotic in the slightest way. people tend to call others by their very first names, so i make it a point to introduce myself as "gab" first before stating my full name. not that "juan" stinks, but i'd rather consider myself lucky to be christened with that second name...

2. i always sleep with my mouth open. not that i want to, but i cannot stop doing it because i have to - otherwise i'd be out of breath (or maybe dead) the next morning. it's partly because of my asthma and pneumonia, which obstructs the normal respiratory routes in my body, specifically the nose. once i lie down, all the mucus miraculously goes up to my nose, making it impossible for me to do normal breathing while asleep. thus, i have to breathe through my mouth.

3. i fancy wearing loose clothing. perhaps others wear clothes to show their chiseled muscles or their lack of body fats, but being a person of fragile stature, i can't do that. and besides, i've always believed that the primary functions of clothing are covering and comfort, not showing off. i've been comfortable with loose clothing ever since i can remember, so if you please, stop forcing me into doing things i'd never do.

4. i chew gum at least 5-7 times a day. this is one habit i learned in college, and again, it is because of my fragile stature, which doesn't allow excess body fats in my body, which could've been converted into extra energy whenever i need it. but since i don't have them, and knowing the demands of college life, what would become of me and my dreams if i didn't find a way to survive? this is where my sugary sweet miracle drug comes in. it even has a wiki testifying to its wonders (it's a well cited article, too)...

5. i haven't been to a woman's 18th birthday yet, though i've been invited tons of times already. they call it a debut to womanhood, so i don't see why men have to be there. but i do want to participate in such events, honestly - however, every time someone holds it and gives an invitation, either something urgent comes up or my schedule won't allow me. not even once.

6. lastly, i dream about dying a lot. furthermore, these dreams are the only ones i could remember vividly - be it splattering from 60 feet up or being devoured by a two-headed, one-eyed monster or sleeping to oblivion or a car crash in trying to save my runaway girlfriend (i don't remember her face, though). does it mean that death will chop my head off soon? i hope not.

now spread the good news! unfortunately, i haven't decided on who to tag yet, but you could request for a tag if you want to. i'll post it in my tagboard. 6 people. h'm.

=======

[argh! i had to rewrite this all over again. notepad.exe failed to save. lucky!]

lady luck always finds a way to screw up for me, hmm? 6 debuts, 3 birthday parties, weekends at church. all missed. i bet many are thinking that i had developed some killjoy-slash-anti-social-disorder nature since college. honestly, i'm not happy about it, but do you need an explanation? put it this way: if you have any good ideas on how to squeeze an extremely happy social life into my academic schedule, tutoring sessions for my younger sibs (which i'm not even good at), and my basic needs as a human being, please do tell me. i was thinking of improving myself as a whole, but that sounds easier to say than to achieve, yet i'll try nonetheless. He'll help me too, because my head is about to break into thousands of shards just thinking of it, the time i could have used to furthering my knowledge about my friends and acquaintances, and furthering their knowledge about me. i've given up a lot, and am about to let go of more! very exciting, very thrilling, indeed. but i have dreams to keep intact, some of which i've let go way back already. i chose a future in medical school, not an illustrious writing career. besides, i'm not very good at this. too sappy, too emotional am i, and i refuse to be like that for the rest of my writing days. i don't want to be too personal, too selfish, anymore.

thus i will be, to a friend, brother, and sister, a good listener; to a writer, an excited reader; to a father and a mother, one ready to obey; to a teacher, a student willing to learn; and to myself, one who entrusts his life to Him first. and i'll learn to enjoy this as well, whatever it takes.

until next time. (",)

p.s. happy birthday to everyone of my friends who had their birthdays for 2007. forgive me for not mentioning each one of you.

p.s.s. don't get me wrong, i'm not closing this blog! and i'm grateful to everyone who passed by here, even once.

p.s.s.s. to those people who i rarely converse with nowadays, someday we'll talk again, and i'll make you tell me what i want to find out. you have been warned *cackles like a madman*. seriously, but you'll do that after you hear my thoughts first.(",)

2007-04-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

Pensées

Blaise Pascal

172. We do not rest satisfied with the present. We anticipate the future as too slow in coming, as if in order to hasten its course; or we recall the past, to stop its too rapid flight. So imprudent are we that we wander in the times which are not ours and do not think of the only one which belongs to us; and so idle are we that we dream of those times which are no more and thoughtlessly overlook that which alone exists. For the present is generally painful to us. We conceal it from our sight, because it troubles us; and, if it be delightful to us, we regret to see it pass away. We try to sustain it by the future and think of arranging matters which are not in our power, for a time which we have no certainty of reaching. Let each one examine his thoughts, and he will find them all occupied with the past and the future. We scarcely ever think of the present; and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means; the future alone is our end. So we never live, but we hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so.

tomorrow, tomorrow... tomorrow. that's today.

three days after that bummer of a math long exam. i can't believe i spent one sleepless night brushing on my partially complete notes and end up doodling careless mistakes all over. how pathetic.

I Am Me: My Declaration of Self-Esteem

Virginia Satir

...However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore I can engineer me. I am me, and I am okay.

i'm not cut for a love story, eh? so true. in fact, i'm not cut to be good at anything just yet. i'd better not think about these things before sleep and during exams from now on, i guess. just focus on becoming a better person which is closer to my ideal. hmmm.

if memories were snowflakes, i'd sure love to see some melt in my hand.

if memories were ding-dong, i won't eat them, but i won't share them either.

damn. i just can't forget how i extended that line to infinity. that blunder cost me at least three points and a whole lot of happiness. should've relied on my instincts. at least now i can start a new line, discontinuous at the point when i say goodbye to the past... again.

2007-04-24T18:47:00.000+08:00

To The Virgins, Make Much Of Time

Dead Poets Society

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

Old time is still a flying

And this same flower that smiles today

Tomorrow will be dying...

carpe diem. first day of class, and this is his introductory greeting. seems like he's our ultimate frisbee instructor, an ex-philosophy professor who thinks he's michael scofield, and he has the tattoos to show for it. but then, scofield's not scofield because of carpe diem.

Song of Myself

Walt Whitman

You shall possess the good of the earth and sun - there are millions of suns left;

You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look through the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books;

You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me;

You shall listen to all sides, and filter them from yourself.

what does poetry reading have to do with ultimate?

Jean Piaget: The principal goal of education in the schools should be creating men and women who are capable of doing new things, not simply repeating what other generations have done; men and women who are creative, inventive and discoverers, who can be critical and verify, and not accept, everything they are offered... You have to make inventors, innovators, not conformists.

Township Rebellion

Rage Against the Machine

Fight the war, fuck the norm.

take all this from someone who chose the sport over two women and a healthy left leg, someone who apparently is almost uninterested in anything else. hmm... he's kind of cool though. poetry reading's kind of refreshing, too; putting things into perspective, i'd rather listen to his random rantings about heart injuries than stuff like...

...OK, this equation says that as x approaches a from the right, the function f(x) approaches infinity, therefore the limit of f(x) is equal to infinity. we also say that the graph of the function is asymptotic to the line x equals a... the limit of the slope of the secant line, as delta x gets closer and closer to zero, is equal to the slope of the tangent line at any given point (x,y)...

...which are absolutely more random than life philosophies. speaking of random, i just finished listening to this song right now.

tomorrow, tomorrow, i'll love you tomorrow...

i guess i'm just exhausted. unfortunately, a math 100 long exam and ultimate won't let me lie low yet... so help me God.(",)

2007-04-13T16:41:00.000+08:00

goooood morning ladies and gentlemen! this is your once-in-a-blue-moon blogger-correspondent, gabriel de leon, reporting live! (echo: live! live!) from the upd psychology department building, more commonly known as the palma hall annex (phan).

today up diliman jumpstarted its summer semester registration for the academic year 2006-2007. however, this summer registration is most likely different from the previous years, with the introduction of a new technological breakthrough christened as the realtime enlistment, definitely a first in up history.

through the years, UP has earned the reputation being the University of the Pila (falling in line). virtually every person who went through the UP system can testify to this, especially those hours-long queue for that elusive PE class or that hard-to-get GE taught by one real hot professor. but recent advances in technology have brought this UP tradition into its first step down the plank and into oblivion, through the utilization of the computerized registration system (crs).

the crs gives the student a chance to reserve class slots for the incoming term, albeit randomly (which gives birth to an alternative expansion of crs: completely randomized system). though it did not completely eliminate the long and frustrating lines that unlucky students have to be in, for many it significantly reduced the number of times they have to be in those lines. it also marked a great improvement compared to our predecessor-students who had to bring sleeping bags in order to secure their semestral futures...

knowing that such is still unsatisfactory in the eyes of the UP student, the current CRS team developed this new program which aimed to further reduce the queues: realtime enlistment. it functions pretty much like the traditional manual enlistment: first come, first served, limited number of slots, hope-for-the-best or expect-the-worst, and all that jazz. however, one does not have to tire his or her feet in the process, but with the help of a computer terminal that has internet access, one can access the UP service online, hassle-free! so what are you waiting for, grab the opportunity while it lasts!

=======

"good news! nakaka-advance na sila sa enlistment page. pero so far, wala pa ring success story."

i was supposed to do the manual enlistment for the first time, when i learned about the implementation of this realtime system, which was supposed to make our lives as enrollees easier. it was a good idea, even excellent - making wise use of widespread technology for the benefit of everyone, namely, faculty and studentry. unfortunately, someone forgot one extremely critical fact:

University of the Philippines. enough said.

anyway, the very moment people started racing nip-and-tuck for the coveted class slots, the DILNET server overloaded, if not crashed.

"kuya, magpe-preenlist po."

"okay, here's your number. pero para lang alam nyo, mabagal ang server ngayon. you'll be... number 37, diba? si number 1, di pa nakakapasok."

i woke up early for this. the last time i arrived at UP by 8:30 am was 5, 6 months ago. still, i was numbered 18. six had already given up on waiting. i mean, who wouldn't, when every 20 minutes the RA would come out of the airconditioned computer lab and tell all those in line...

"wala pa ring success story."

that was obvious, telling from the number of terminals which had either minesweeper, paint, or solitare open. it was 11:00 when shrieks and applause told everyone that someone finally got through.

=======

one girl finished minesweeper - expert level three times; each time she beat her previous record. another doodled abstracts, letterings, and teddy bears. some guy resigned to pressing key F5 whenever "ERROR" shows as the homepage header. occasionally, some pages load relatively quick, then the network dies again. for those early birds who got in early, it became a cycle. at least until 12 noon, when half of the enlisters were then giving up, especially those who were coming from the philcoa area (which was reportedly swarming with UP kids).

meanwhile, a pseudo-fine arts major named jemuel rugay was able to produce some obra maestras (slightly edited by the MTRCB due to the presence of some obscenties)...

by this time, the server lag went down from thirty minutes to fifteen to five. i wanted one non-dance PE. the user beside me had two, both to her uninteresting. we struck a deal with each other: i'll find you a slot for camping or futsal, you give me ultimate frisbee.

this time, we both happened to be lucky. (nikka, thank you!!!!)

and it was smooth sailing from thereon. just took another hour at the form 5a checking area and a death march towards the payment booths, where executions were only held up to 4:30 pm. after the hot-headed cashier took my payment and her accomplices dealt the final blows, i found myself in the paradise called AS steps.

=======

math 100, m-t-w-th-f, 9.45-12.30, mb 301.

pe 2 uf (ultimate frisbee), m-w-f, 1.00 - 3.15, track oval 1.

1) if you happen to be my classmate in any of those courses, please inform me about it.

2) if you happen to have the prescribed book for math 100, pwede po pahiram?

3) classes start on monday. see you.(",)

2007-04-11T15:05:00.000+08:00

the first phase of my vacation comes to an end... if i had one in the first place.

the holy week is supposedly a time slated for personal reflections. my holy week involved cleaning my room, organizing my files and stuff, clearing of trash and eliminating all kinds of viruses and spyware, all for the sake of restoring order in my world that is otherwise confined to a self-fulfilling prophecy of utter pandemonium.

registration for the summer semester starts tomorrow. since CRS forgot to give me a PE, i'll have to enlist for one manually, which could also be translated as "wake up early tomorrow," one thing i really suck at [note: early = 7-8 am].

then i'll have to rush back home to tutor my sibs. after administering diagnostics, i discovered that i'll have to start from scratch and learn my high school stuff all over, or else i take all the blame and agony and stiffneck, the last a bonus.

for the next two months, that's pretty much my life in a nutshell. sounds harsh and rough and even crazy, but i still find myself in a smiling mood sunup or sundown. how i wish i knew why...(",)

2007-04-03T13:26:00.000+08:00

i forgot that i had a blog? geez.

what's worse is, after remembering that i do have one, i don't have anything in my mind right now - anything that's worth writing about, that is...

...besides my failing to get at least a subject for the summer semester...

...and my plan of making friendster testimonials for those whom i had made previous commitments with...

...and my having to tutor my 3rd year and 5th grade siblings for their college and high school entrance exams, respectively...

...and my mom's homecoming this week...

...and my having no money for the summer "break."

well, that sums it up for now. until something interesting happens for the next few weeks... see you. (",)

2007-02-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

grabe. dalawang lathalain sa isang araw. ngunit ito ang hinihingi ng sitwasyon eh, at naisip ko na dapat kong gawin ang nararapat.

sabi nga nila, ang tao daw ay maihahalintulad sa isang aso - sa unang beses na saktan mo ng walang dahilan, ito ay mag-iisip - bakit nya ginagawa ito sa akin? sa ikalawa, ito ay magtataka - ano ba ang nagawa ko at ginagawa nila ito sa akin?

pero huwag niyong subukan na saktan nyo pa ito ulit - pagkat sa ikatlong tangka... humanda ka.

siguro nga mukha akong isang nilalang na karapat-dapat ngang apihin - eh sa hitsura pa lang, hindi naman kayang gumanti niyan diba? marahil ay tama ka. ngunit ang pagawi ay hindi lamang simpleng "dahil ginawa mo ito, ito rin ang gagawin ko sayo" pagkat hindi naman ito laging magagawa, at minsana'y mas makakasakit lamang sa sarili.

ito ang paraan ko ng pagbawi. maaaring hindi kasinlupit ng mga hagupit nyo, ngunit kahit papano'y mapusok at matalim pa rin.

ganun nga ba talaga kahirap matuto? masyado nga bang tago ang mga hudyat, ang usok na nauuna sa apoy? hindi pa ba sapat ang isa, dalawang beses? sa tingin nyo, hm?

buti na lang, sa tingin ko hindi lang sapat, ngunit lubusan na ang aking mga salitain. masyadong taliwas sa aking pagkatao. nawa'y nawari't nahinuha nyo na ang aking saloobin. kung inyong mamarapati'y huwag niyo nang gustuhin na gawin ko pa ito ulit. patawad.(",)

2007-02-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

hi. i was counting my thoughts when you surprisingly passed by...

...and then i lost count.

i guess that's a poor pick-up line. but it wasn't meant to be one in the first place.

for your knowledge, i was referring to how many things i should've had posted here. unfortunately, for the umpteenth time, the schoolwork deities denied me any chances.

[which reminds me: i'm plugging another blog of mine, which before i purposely hid from the general public due to my fear for embarrassment and shame. it contains some of the paperwork that has given me fits ever since my first semester at the University i love. since it has also given my blog lots of lapses, perhaps i owe you, the reader, at least something... even if that be my dignity. the link's right here. but first, a warning: contents are visual and mental sleeping pills. proceed at your own risk. use only mainly for reference.]

anyway, my mom's leaving for italy today. her travel schedule could be as short as 15 days, but could extend up to three months. honestly, i don't know how to react just yet. just hours ago we were supposed to have a pizza party before she leaves; but apparently, when i arrived home my parents were already off on a taxi three minutes earlier. the pizza was also nowhere to be found.

oh well.

my parents also informed me two weeks ago that a cousin of mine will also be entering the University for the next academic year as a freshman. again, i hesitated on giving any kind of reaction. yeah, i was supposed to be happy for her. but... well, her pending case has not been resolved yet, as of presstime.

now that i mentioned presstime, i currently find myself hooked to the manga version of naruto. i finished ten or so volumes in less than a week, with all the time alloted for schoolwork accounted for. i'm currently 25 episodes away from the most recent chapter, and that comes out on friday, together with the anime version...

since i've been ranting about paperwork for about three or so entries by now, let me balance it out by introducing some fun into it. take this comprehensive and more-than-fairly accurate personality test - you'll be surprised. if the results don't appear the way you want it to be, then that time's your chance to self-reflect on your status quo... and perhaps change yourself accordingly, if necessary.

why recommend this? because through it i found out that i'm not just a "mysterious person who loves wearing very loose clothes," as a friend quipped, but am actually a very normal being who happens to wear loose clothing (ahh... the perks of being a psych major are immeasurable, ain't they? and isn't it obvious that i'm encouraging you to shift to the psych department? heh!).

whew. i guess that does it for now. a few reminders for myself (no need to read through these, guys):

28-2-07:

wake up early, meet psych facilitation groupmates @ ph lobby, 8 am.

attend experiment @ phan, 1-1:15 pm.

meet again with psych groupmates for consultation, 1:15 pm.

29-2-07:

wake up early again, meet socsci groupmates @ phan lobby, 10 am.

read 12-page english10 position paper.prepare topic for own position paper.

review for practical exam @ chem16 lab.

1-3-07:

sleep.

1-4-07:

write panpil17 incentive paper on valentine's day.

prepare outline for position paper.

sleep early.

1-5-07:

attend miting de avance for usc and cssp elections.

1-6-07:

don't forget to vote.

and...uh, perhaps you get the picture, so i'll end it now.(",)

2007-02-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

one production number. one practical laboratory test. one incentive paper. two long tests. two ten-page papers. twenty-three handouts. one hundred thirty-seven pages. dozens of hours for studying. and then save some time for an entry. gee, don't i love you so much, dear reader?

=======

but then, love is a choice everyone is supposed to make. and it's a choice both you and i must respect without regretting its consequences.

by the way, did anybody notice those streamers in sm's department stores, them highlighted with hearts, saying "celebrate love"? heck, how are we supposed to celebrate love? as one guy put it (again), "love is a choice. choices are made, not celebrated. ergo, we don't celebrate love. we make love."

=======

after one-and-a-half semesters, i found out that i already had three - yes, three! - UP IDs. my first one had some judgmental-typographical error, hence i had it corrected.

the second, i lost on my way to school about one fortnight ago, unaware that i let it slip from my pocket to my seat. i went back home, took my first ID with me, folded it into four parts (thus deeming it tampered), and had another ID printed - voila, my third ID.

by a stroke of pure luck, i got my second ID back a week later, giving me a spare ID in case of emergency, like the tampered one.

=======

when will i ever get to talk to you again? not that you care, but... oh well. never mind.

=======

belated happy birthday to anna caballes [feb1]. tell you what, every scientian back at the tambayan was singing for you, and you ought to thank them. you didn't know that? of course, they sang for me by mistake. you should've been there. i mean, that was really embarrassing.

=======

i want to be a four-year old again. yeah, never mind those who say that high school/college life, is the best stage in one's lifetime. i want to be a kid again.

you know, kids don't worry about their daily allowance, or the kitchen sink's status, or their body fats, or how would a four-year old girl react if he kissed her on the cheek. for our society, kids are the most adorable creatures roaming the earth regardless of how human (or un-human) you seem to be.

if you're fat, you're called cute. if you're not fat, they'll fatten you up, without you thinking how you're supposed to grab that cloud-9 bar without spending anything - you just cry, and here goes candy/lollipop/chocolate for you.

furthermore, kids only eat, watch, play, and sleep. no pressure from anyone to study hard - if you do well, you get to have three smiling stars stamped on your forehand! and if you don't, there's still a smiley face and candies for you (just don't forget to cry in front of your mommy and you'll go along fine).

and did anyone ever wonder why kids are so energetic? how can they possibly play non-stop for hours? well, except for the occasion that 1) a bully comes to wreak havoc, but that can be easily taken care of - cry out loud, and bad guy's mommy will spank the brat for you and/or 2) someone gets hurt or wounded - but these scars can be treated with betadine, right?

in contrast to that, adolescents find it real hard to please their elders, thus they worry a lot. they tend to conserve their energy, not for play, but for things that they are so stressed about. studying becomes a must, and so does diet control.

and crying won't get you anywhere. no candies or toys or props or whatever. bullies become the authorities, and their mommies are the ones who get spanked a lot. worse, pain inflicted by the wounds are now not relieved by physical treatment, not even by crying your heart out.

however, i'd like to think that adolescents learn just that - the whole universe might be really hard to please, the world might be unfair, pain might be something that is here to stay for eternity; yet the salient things are those which transcend pleasures and pains that are felt; that all perceived by the senses are but shadows of what is the essence, the untangible, the real.

=======

i got clotheslined by my sibs four days ago. unfortunately, what was meant for the chest went to the face, specifically the eyes and the eyeglasses, which eventually broke and horribly scarred my face. the next evening, i brought home a box containing one hundred mediplast band-aids, noting that at the current rate, a dozen of them won't last to april.

=======

it's been devastatingly cold the past two weeks. temperature in manila dropped by seven degrees from its norm of 30, forcing people to wear windbreakers or thin jackets even when the sun is at its azimuth.

in baguio, hundred millions' worth of potatoes and cabbages were destroyed due its near-record-low 5-degree celsius environment. curiously, hotel reservations were at an all-time high in the summer capital of the world - my theory is that filipinos want to see snowflakes falling from the sky down to philippine soil... but well, as they say, only here in the philippines.

=======

for all those wondering why i have not been sending group messages through text like haywire before globe telecoms raised the prices of their famed unlimitxt scheme, it is because i have not messaged a single globe sim-owning soul since a friend told me that she will not be texting anyone until valentine's day. i thought that her idea was nothing short of brillant, thus i followed suit...

...until one day she sent a group message. regardless, i'm sticking to my word. anyway, i still think the new prices are relatively cheap, compared to the humungous SMS volume the philippines logs per day, us being the "texting capital of the world"...

=======

micapaps: i've heard the day the music died... about ritchie... uhh... maybe you got a point. (kidding.)

gerald: so, you noticed too? teehee.

tom hagen: i hope we can discuss this with don vito. otherwise...

don vito corleone: one wish to grant is enough, my lord... i want tom hagen's head on a silver platter.

el terible: wanga akong naintindihan. terible nga ang lingwahe mo.

ronald: hala, naniwala naman kayo kay rap. that's absolutely untrue.

=======

g-b: sorry, i know this was two days late, but this was the best i could've done, given the awful situation i'm in... (",)

2007-01-31T10:38:00.001+08:00

christian bautista: gee, you call that a song? you're hopeless.

ely buendia: kumanta daw si marcus para sayo ha. seems like we're on the right track.

bill gates: sorry, but your "global innovation" seems like another big security loophole. i don't want to be a part of it.

steve jobs: now that's what a good offer is supposed to be! i request that you give me a blank check where i could write my monthly salary in.

emerlinda roman: ma'am, di ka na nasanay? ayusin nyo yung STFAP bracketing ni de dios, baka magbago isip ko.

john lennon: correction, sir. it's gab, not juan. such an honor it is to speak with you, sir. but you could offer your songs to someone more prospective, i guess. like yoko ono.

yugi moto: yugi, sana'y mapatawad mo ako, ngunit matagal ko nang isinuko ang mga baraha ko.

peter north: i only found out about your dastardly acts in the movies 6 months ago. hell no, i'm not patronizing you in any way.

sam milby: hate gays. hate gays. i think you're better off with piolo. enough said.

piolo pascual: see sam milby.

ebe dancel: aber, ebe, nais kong malaman pano kita na-inspire. sana yumayaman rin ako habang ginagamit mo akong inspirasyon mo sa mga kanta mo diba?

manny pacquiao: hey, you know manny poohquiao? absolutely you can fight him, not a boxing fluke like me, you know.

death: pag-iisipan ko po ha. mukhang masaya pa naman ang buhay eh.

iwa moto: iwa moto, moto, moto, moto! tayo na sa bus sumakay! iwa moto, moto, moto, moto, everybody give it a try! yan yun diba? kamusta naman vocal chords ko, tingin mo?

jim paredes: yeah, i think i have the potential to be talented. pero hindi sa pagkanta.

paul mccartney: with all due respect, sir, i haven't seen one word of wisdom here yet.

yeng constantino: i don't have a lot of dreams, miss yeng. and para lang sa iyong kaalaman, hindi ko pinangarap na maging sikat.

simon cowell: i feel sorry for you, simon. it's just that i think me being there won't help.

ederlyn: details naman, ate. saan at kelan? pakilala mo ako kay cheverlyn ha!

raims: i formally give my xylophone/sax/tambourine/harmonica/2nd vox spot with sandwich to either marcus adoro, buddy zabala, or ely buendia. i also propose that eraserheads be reunited once more.

badjojo administrator: you got the wrong guy. sorry to tell you but i believe in the sanctity of virginity and sex within the bounds of marriage. no way will i indulge in your filthy products.

joey de leon: lolo na lang. ayaw kitang tatay.

paris hilton: what video? and britney who? anyway, i'm not good at partying. sorry.

homer simpson: hey homer. can i be bart?

big brother: sorry kuya, di ako telegenic eh. ayokong lumabas sa tv. tsaka may babae na ko. sayo na sila kung gusto mo.

christopher de leon: tatay ba talaga kita? at nanay ko si nora? aaaaaaah! kaya pala pareho kami ng nunal ni inay sa mukha!

the beatles: the music gods john, paul, george and ringo are singing for me. this must be a good omen.

randy santiago: ui randy! irerecommend ko si ronald jimenez sayo. mas alam nya yung kanta.

imelda hilario: ma'am, pakitranslate nga po ito para saken: kokak kokak kokak kokak kokak kokak!!! hayan. asa pang makapag-asawa ka.

german moreno: kuya germs! marunong kang magmasahe??? please, wag mo na akong gawing matinee idol. basta pamasahe please!

carmen awitan: carmen, si imelda yung nakahalikan mo.

ronald atanacio: even if you had known anything about my skills, i still would forever hate research because of you, mister virus-look-alike. now how do you think will i succeed in psych?

maury: that's preposterous! i'm currently seventeen years old, i reached the puberty stage by age twelve, and i don't remember myself having a one-night stand with seventeen women. impossible indeed.

dr. phil: doctor feel, i mean, phil! wow! i would certainly love to be your apprentice! but no on-the-spotlight scenes, please!

leia organa: princess organa, i will take your simple errand on one condition... i will have your autograph in return.

don vito corleone: being a mercenary of yours is enough, my lord. hail the corleone, hail.

dr. emmet l. brown: no way sir! my mom and pop won't ever meet if martial law did not come to pass. then there would be no me in the space-time continuum! please, no more intervening with the past!

dj mo twister: hey dj mo! those were all hearsays. i'm a full-fledged virgin, mo.

sylvester stallone: hey, you say the contender? i'm in! i want seven byes on my way to the finals against the living legend sylvester stallone! forget kamao with manny!

ray robinson: first class training indeed! absolutely manny pacquiao-ish training! i'll be the next sergio mora for you guys!

sergio mora: can i have your autograph someday? and i'd also want to feel the impact of a punch from a champion.

peter manfredo: girls are not treasures, they're people, you fool! you can't own them, idiot! and calling them precious doesn't make it any better. perhaps that's why you lost to sergio!

alfonso gomez: lady luck is on my side, boy. believe me.

regie "baby ama" amarante: hala, ako na lang ba walang pagnanasa kay dior? mga lalaki talaga o! sinabi ko na kay sir stallone, sa contender ako sasali! beh!!

randy couture: UFC is all rodman and trash. no way, randy.

willie revillame: hindi, willie, ako ang patpatin!!

k-fed: ...and you were just telling me to keep it real. you're also hopeless. see christian bautista.

banker: hello banker............................................................................................................ thank you banker.

triple h: what?

shawn michaels: why?

mark dacascos: funny, i was just finishing the best instant noodles of my life right now.

bobby flay: do you cook instant noodles? i think that masaharu guy would be better because his name sounds asian.

michael corleone: but you are staining the family name, michael! see, you even had your brothers killed! i'll take over for you, bearing the name gabby corleone. you can have your wife and family, i'm too young for that. i swear the corleone banner will be the last one standing.

darth vader: no way, you're my father? and i was thinking about dating princess leia! how deperssing. that's not true, is it??

=======

in my informal 2 weeks leave of absence, my tagboard took over and became more of a spectacle than any of my entries combined. kudos to jason, ronald, and raphael for making all these possible. i'd like to think that these are all the fruits of your endless rampant sermons in forcing me to write an entry, but then again, it's jason, ronald, and raphael, so that can't be right. anyway, this is my tribute to you guys, sorry if it's kind of disappointing. until sunday again, then.

2007-01-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

whew. finally, a refreshing end to a vicious week. reminds me very much of what my tried-and-tested-alumni father said, "welcome to UP, son."

and by the way, happy birthday to you, pop [jan. 12]. i am your greatest fan. thought you ought to know.

going back on track... heck. there is just so much to learn. too much, it's almost like it wants to stain the immaculate values of learning. it's poison.

so much for an otherwise uneventful week. besides the fact that i realized that i've been reverting to my hopeless-romantic-ish ways, nothing of serious note stood out.

unless i happen to include that neck-breaking chem16 long exam. and an unfinished post-lab. and an unstarted concept paper, and...

oh. sorry. i just need a breather. you know, lie low for some time.

good day.

[editor's note: entry late by 3 days and 86 attempts to publish.]

2007-01-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

tell me - am i already in love?
no, you're not.
then what am i?
you're human enough to think that you're already in love when you're actually not there yet.
whew. thanks.
huh? that's strange... don't you -
new year, sir.
oh. got it. any other plans?
uhh... score a 120 on a bowling game? get a haircut at least once a month? survive chem16 and eng10? scan my pc for anomalies regularly? stay healthy enough? keep posting on schedule? read His book? save 1000 pesos monthly? honestly, i have no idea.
wow. so modest... and yet boring. get a life, boy.

hey. why the silence?
oh. nothing.
it's not about her again, right?
yup. you think i oughta send that crazy notion of mine to oblivion?
i don't see any need for that.
me neither. mind you, she's almost... um...
almost what?
hmmm... lemme think... oh, ideal.
almost, eh? hmmm... correct me if i'm wrong, but is she...
charming? that's a given.
smart?
yet fears God and shuns evil.
not much of a talker?
yet a good listener. and writer.
light-hearted? usually in a joyous mood -
- and has dark-brown eyes.
gee, she's so much like you! except that you're a spectacled jerk. i'm starting to feel sorry for the girl.
aren't you supposed to be helping me -
- by telling you the truth, say.
well, can you be a bit milder on me?
as you say, then.

by the way... have you -
- done my homework. and heck, i'm actually reading those readings.
that really ticked you off, huh?
guess she was right about me.
oooooooh. looks like we're going to have a really interesting year.
you think so?
that's what we're hoping for, jerk.
hey, enough with the name-calling, will you -
- think about it. first, you laugh 30 minutes straight in front of your one-time lab prof. then you blush 15 minutes after. then you show off that mysterious smile of yours until you hit the sack. and now you're forcing me to stop calling you a big-time je -
oh gawd, but she was so amusing! and she kind of amazed me, that's all. and i presume you know that she's a professor, so cut it out, mister know-it-all.
sorry, what did you just -
i'm off to sleep. good night.
do that, mister glasslike-fragility-personified.
fragile. now that's the word. slack off for me now, please.
roger... jerk.

[muttering to oneself... talk about starting 2007 right. sheesh.]

2007-01-04T21:57:00.000+08:00

more than a year ago, i shook hands with the shortest national leader that any nation had since who-knows-when.

six months after that incident i found myself studying in the university where a big chunk of its student populace would smile so wide at the thought of gripping the wee hands of miss her excellency to death.

another half-year passed by, then heard in the news about mister saddam hussein last seeing a fireworks display twelve months ago.

time flies like an arrow. and there's no bulls-eye to stop it. i tried to look back at the direction where the Archer's bow could have been, but all was vague and black.

what's my point? i completely missed it, if ever there was one. or should i say that i don't feel inspired enough to write about the year that was, 2006. forgive me.

heh. just kidding.

january - march: conclusions

fighting maroon? blue eagle? those were the questions. no, not even the law of conservation of momentum or asymptotic graphs or simoun's schemes took the senior's mind away from the thought of studying in his dream university. well, perhaps except the prospect of finding the girl of his dreams... uhh, what did i just say? i meant the commencement exercises. and prom night. and grad ball. and of course, vacation.

april - june: a silent transitory time-bridge

turned out that some people (read: me) were wrong in thinking that that year's vacation would be one of the best, and longest times of their lives. credit it to a major spike in sun cellular's sms traffic or to university registration processes or to unbearable boredom, but summer couldn't've ended faster that it just did.

july - september: beginnings, and...

oh, look, someone's already seventeen. though the girl of his daydreams flew away, lots of news (plural of "new"?) more than made up for it [guys and gals, don't get me wrong here! okay?!]. fortunately, the new and the not-so-new aspects jelled quite well for me, or that was how i perceived it.

october - december: ...all over again.

sort of like that. an end to one semester, a break, and a new term; just in a shorter timespan. and so goes the circle of learning, of life. i wonder where my dream girl comes in... and when will pldt mydsl allow me to go yahoo! messenger again.

hmmm. now that i said that, maybe those arrows are tactlessly flying around in circles... ahhh, just my thoughts. a pleasant twenty-oh-seven to the universe and beyond. (",)

2006-12-28T17:23:00.000+08:00

i don't want a lot for christmas, there is just one thing i need...

of all the songs that you would hear coming from a chapel, why this one? i muttered to myself, as a middle-aged woman dressed in red and green wailed along the night.

i don't care about the presents underneath the christmas tree...

never walk alone during the night. especially during this time of the year. i felt myself slightly shiver from head to toe as i crossed paths with hordes of people making their way toward the church.

i just want you for my own, more than you could ever know...

stop singing, gab! it will only make you feel worse, seriously.

make my wish come true...

ever got that funny feeling that comes once a year, that impressive urge to say those immortal words? yeah, even for a fleeting moment?

all i want for christmas is you.

i... i - i like you.

CUT! okay, relax - take a deep breath - exhale - do that again - close your eyes - breathe deeper - exhale - open your eyes. relax! - behave normally. good. now keep walking.

*having a quiet christmas? beware, seasonal depression looks for victims like you! but don't worry, we can offer you some advice for a minimum of 50 pesos. for more details, call 8-STRESS (8-787377) right away!*

whew. happy holidays. a few notes:

1. from 29-12-06 to 1-1-07 yours truly will be at the summer capital of the world, baguio city.
2. for UP Diliman students, regular classes resume 3-1-07, wednesday. don't forget your komework, kids.
3. next up: 2006: the year that was, in summary. and while i'm up to it, sing auld lang syne for me.

very well... so long. farewell. i have to say... thank you. goodbye. sayonara. adios. adieu. au revoir. arrivederci. auf wiedersehen. salamat. paalam. hanggang sa muli. (",)

2006-12-22T19:06:00.000+08:00

christmas fever is on. i can't really feel it, but i have had mild fever and breathing difficulties since tuesday. as of presstime the writer is still under medication and will be so for the next two weeks. my instincts told me that i was sick because i was not yet used to dawdle idly at home for four straight days. guess what? my intuition skills were strikingly remarkable, for a few hours at least.

thursday i discovered that i had less difficulty breathing while riding a jeepney along the heavily smoke- and vehicle-congested tandang sora avenue. and i felt even better as i walked a few kilometers from commonwealth highway to my friend maikka's village where a christmas party will be held.

i arrived at the village clubhouse one thirty-sharp, which was the designated time for the affair. however, i arrived there to a sight of balloons, balloons, and a few more balloons - but no people. i thought "are these preparations for us?" and found the answer moments later, as some adults arranged some chairs for some night party.

a few minutes later anna cee and hazel arrived. finding nothing but me and empty space, we resolved to go to maikka's house before returning to the clubhouse when there were more people. there we stayed until... 2 pm when ronald, jamie, gelynne and daryl, and nice arrived. back at the clubhouse (diba 1:30 yung party? anong oras na nun, 2:30?) we waited again. kathy and inah and domeng arrived, and decided that we order pizza and wait for some others until quarter-to-three. miles came. and then gerald. and then we started. then the pizza arrived. and followed the softdrinks. then came a few others (krizia, kacie, dina, abi, julia) and then we talked. then i felt that i wanted to leave, and leave them i did.

ohh. i'm awfully sorry. that was plain boring. actually domeng prepared a "programme" in the form of a game. he called it "the 5 P's of life." the P's stand for pamilya, pag-aaral, pag-ibig, paggawa, and pangarap. the mechanics of the game go like this: each person would say something in-detail about the 5 categories mentioned above. then the next one does the same, until everyone had spoken.

since i rushed my speech last thursday, i'll make up for it here, categorizing it into two: 1) what i did say, and 2) what i forgot to say.

pamilya (family). what i did say: my mom celebrated her birthday, and that was why i had to leave early. my parents have plans of taking the whole family to canada and/or sending me to my scholarship in italy. what i forgot to say: our family will be spending the holidays in three different places: our home, my grandparents' home, and baguio.

pag-aaral (academics). what i did say: i thought that so far, i was doing good, compared to my high school days. someone mentioned my current US status. what i forgot to say: i do my homework nowadays, and i don't arrive late for class. heh.

pag-ibig (lovelife). what i did say: contrary to popular notions that i currently have many love interests, actually i have none due to time constraints. what i forgot to say: having a crush is way too different from having a lovelife of sorts. ha!

paggawa (business). what i did say: nothing was keeping me busy. all i did was plump myself up. what i forgot to say: nothing. you guys already know what i do to keep myself from slitting my throat out of boredom.

pangarap (dreams). what i did say: it depends on how the next two years fall out. but hopefully i become a doctor. what i forgot to say: i have strange dreams. just last night i dreamt that i was walking along a red carpet towards an altar, with people watching from both sides of the path and cameras flashing from every direction. back in elementary i dreamt of becoming the next rookie prodigy of ateneo basketball. you see, what i did say was quite enough, or else i would have been real late for my mom's birthday bash.

but then i had to go. worse thing is, i forgot to take pictures. oh well.

moving on. from north susana executive village i had to go back home, fetch my siblings and proceed to sm north, then wait for my parents to fetch us by 7 in the evening and proceed to super bowl, which practically sums up my thursday.

[the next day...]

wheeee. quezon city science high school batch 2006's yearbook was released today. never mind that i felt dead sick. or that my feet and legs experienced slight cramps because of the generous jeepney passengers who gave me an eighth of a seat through 30 minutes of travel (someday i'll write a piece about them jeepneys). i paid 1200 bucks for that. period.

what did i get? hmmm... let's see. colorful hardbound cover. half a page, scrapbook style. one- to two-word phrase descriptions, followed by a three-paragraph text. one wacky picture, one formal. 261 students. faculty members. some literary pieces, congratulatory speeches, pictures of all kinds, caricatures, typographical errors. ads for sponsors. greyscale. not bad. but it could have been better, i guess. unless i think about it. and read again. and try to remember. and laugh. and then think again.

anyway, after that i had to go buy some groceries, where some is equal to three bags full of stuff. i got home alive. not bad for some sick and tired being. *gasps for air* i'm taking a rest now.

happy holidays. (",)

2006-12-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

three cheers to the holidays! today is the official start of the University's two-week layoff, just in time for the yuletide season. recently i was informed that our family will be staying at my grandparents' place for the 24th and 25th of december, so my next update will either be on the 22nd or the 26th.

how depressing.

anyway. last thursday our chem 16 lab professor made us take our first and last exam for the 2nd semester, year 2006, in the form of a 6-item, 70 point problem set. beforehand we tried pleading to him to save it for next year, and even sang him a christmas carol, but the guy plainly refused. so much for maintaining my US status.

friday was a chaotic day of sorts; first there was the oblation run, followed by the controversial board of regents meeting about the tuition and other fee increase for the next academic year, and capped by the annual lantern parade.

to sum things up:

i was not able to witness the "ritual run of the brave" - heck, who would be able to? when you just came from your cancelled 11:30 class, only to find a humungous crowd standing between you and the runners' path, where humungous is approximately 100 people per square meter, covering the whole AS steps, the road directly in front of it, AS lobby, AS walk, AS building; and with all those red-shirted activists directing the path up at front, at the same time getting automatic front-seat tickets to the "show." but so much for that; i realized after their "procession" that the event is not really that special for UP student - protests like that would come and go.

the lantern parade was actually cancelled by the UP administration because of ghost "security threats" that would allegedly come with it. i could keep on ranting about my speculations about why they decided upon that (i.e. the University, lantern parade or nil, is always open to security threats, knowing that anyone can enter it) - however the UP community proceeded with the annual tradition, regardless of the admin's decision, led by the UP college of fine arts. funny thing is, i was forced to go participate in the parade because 1) i was with jemuel and ronnie and raphael, the latter two both taking up FA 28 courses, 2) i had nothing else to do. so off we went, walking past half the academic oval, ronnie carrying his sprite-bottle-made-jackstone, rap and jem and me donning strange headgear and taking turns with ronnie in carrying his jackstone. after spotting our batchmates in the crowd we broke away from the entourage. hopefully i can follow up this post with some pictures.

exhausted from the long walk, we cooled off at the sunken garden (where seemingly there were more outsiders than UP students) starting 5 pm until about 7 in the evening. during that time gap i witnessed the largest diliman commune rally since i entered the University. students who had been "barricading" in quezon hall, trying to prevent the board of regents from approving the controversial fee increase proposal, marched to malcolm hall after being informed that the meeting was actually moved there and that the proposal had been unanimously approved by the 7 regents who were present. from thereon the protesters gained in number, to a point that they almost stopped the flow of traffic because they occupied about a quarter of the oval. there were even groups from UP los baños trodding along.

with this in mind, i borrow rap fulgar's remark, while we were still at the parade - "bakit pag sa batch natin laging pumapangit yung admin ng school?" which mirrored my father's sentiments quite well. hmmmm.

after all these events, we (jason, ronnie, ronald, mg, jem) walked through the dark UP lagoon on our way to commonwealth highway. near the alumni center we met a good-hearted jeepney driver who offered us a ride on his PXW.384 to the jeepney stops, sparing us from the dangers of walking in the dark. as we said our thanks and went down, ronnie took note of the plate number, and on this site i remember the good old chap through it.

ho-ho-ho. forgive me for being so plain this time around. i'm off to finish my homework early in the season. happy holidays!

[and by the way, all i want for christmas is you. wala lang. asa pa kasi eh. wheeee! (",)]

2006-12-13T10:57:00.000+08:00

forgive me for that weekend lapse. it is the homestretch of the pre-yuletide holiday semester, after all. and it does not sound like good news at all - some hardworking professors are pushing us to the limits, and you ought to be lucky if you are not part of their classes, unlike me.

anyway. last week a friend commented on my entries. he said something like "ayusin mo nga yung mga post mo. nakakainis eh." and he followed that up with "gusto kong makita yung mga adventures mo sa UP." i pondered on that, and realized that he had a good point, and i could have done something about it - the thing is, i have not found anything exciting about the second semester yet, unless i suddenly feel the need to teach psychology 101 here, which won't happen. good thing for him, though - come friday, two of the most awaited events will take place in the University - the controversial Oblation Run and the annual Lantern Parade. i recommend that you attend to both events: the naked guys will run 12 noon, the lantern show will start 4 in the afternoon, both on friday. so maybe until then, the reader will have to deal with my clumsy writings.

and then there was last week's post. a day after publication, a note on my tagboard showed up, saying "Ok din 'tong si God, no? Kenkoy rin pala. Hehe. Nagtatagalog pa." now i was guessing some of the readers might be thinking blasphemy or otherwise. i did not mean to cross anyone's beliefs, or to imply that i am really able to talk to God as written there. what i am stressing here is who i think God is - the Sovereign One Who is Who or What He needs to be. i think of Him as a dynamic God, able to stoop down to the level of and fully understand a humble human being, and be the Supreme Eternal simultaneously. no one can define God or put Him in a box and describe His nature. and that is why He can speak English, French, German, Tagalog, Taglish, what-have-you. and frankly i will not brand that as "Kenkoy." just my two cents worth.

now, back to business (again, for lack of a better term). last monday my sister flew off to san francisco, california, to teach kids at a private school. it will be sad not to have her during the holidays, but worse(?) is come next year my mom will be following suit, heading to somewhere in canada to help establish a business there, and possibly to prepare for moving the whole family together with her in the unforseeable future. yep, that means either 1) everyone leaves, i study either in canada or i accept the full scholarship offer in italy, 2) i remain here and finish my pre-medical studies in the University, with the family leaving me a modest home, a car that i do not know how to drive yet, and two dogs, or 3) i accept the italy offer, my brothers and father remain here, and my mother stays in canada indefinitely. most probably the second option will push through; but whatever the case, the house's resident loner will feel lonelier. sheesh.

so please, do not wonder if someday i drop dead along the corridors of palma hall. of course i'm kidding, but it makes me feel kind of stressed, bored, silent, and perhaps depressed all in one go.

*change of mood in three, two, one!*

all right then. a few not-so-notable notes:

i just recovered my last year's christmas wishlist, thinking of something to even crave for for the holidays... all in vain. you rich kids ought to be happy.

a week before my sis' left for the states, she gave me a parting gift: her old samsung sgh-e600. this greatly contributed to the demise of my wishlist plans.

recently i found out that i qualified as a University Scholar for the past semester, which 1) was a good thing, of course and 2) made me feel scared of my parents, thinking of what mental torture they would make me go through after this nerve-wracking semester. [by the way, thanks to majik for that inspiring note. naks. (",)]

a few days after my first signifcant post, our siberian husky ran away early in the morning. i was not emotionally attached to the dog just yet, but my mom and baby brother were. and all i was able to say to them was "babalik yun." why? because the village we resided in was small, the guards in the exit posts did not sight any dog crossing the village borders, the dog was sighted within the village a few hours before we woke up that day, and our other dog (an askal) also ran away from us before, and returned after a month. so i was confident that the husky would return. and come back home he did, just today.

the natural reaction from me would have been "sabi ko sa inyo eh!" which was actually the truth. however, after five or so weeks of learning psychology 101, my response varied quite a bit: "galing ng hindsight ko no!" of course some of you might have heard of the term "hindsight bias" a.k.a. the "i-knew-it-all-along" notion, wherein we aptly exaggerate our predicting powers after we know the facts. nevertheless, do not feel guilty - such behavior was the result of human mental development (some call it evolution) through the centuries and millenia.

heh. sorry for that. just happened to love psychology so much. and for that, i'll stop here and now.

2006-12-06T10:17:00.000+08:00

dear Lord...

am i thinking too much? or am i really -
not thinking at all? no. you're pushing yourself too much, gab.
oh my, so You were listening after all.
of course, I always do. now it's your turn to listen.
fire away.
give yourself some slack. you arrive home just in time for dinner, then read till the wee hours of the next day. sayang yung tinataba mo.
wow. so totoo pala, tumaba ako! and i thought i was looking sickly.
no, you're not - perhaps you are thinking too much. pero di naman kailangang ganun eh.
hmm.. pero nag-aaral naman po ako ah. i do have the right intentions, i guess?
you know the answer to that. and you do that at the expense of your parents' instructions.
but i'm performing poorly at class. and, uh, actually, nagbabasa ako para makatulog-
just believe what they say. tama sila, and I know better. everything else will pay off.
of course you do. salamat po. i'm off to sleep.

sure, but before that, a few things. first, you should watch-
happy feet! waaah. para po kasing wala akong panahon eh.
naku, tingin mo lang yun. tama dad mo eh, aral ka na lang ng aral. get a life, and find time for yourself.
siguro nga po. hay. i'll try my best.
good. second, fix yourself! wear your retainers. get a haircut!
does my hair look that awful?
no, but you're better off with short hair.
and you'll tell me that these retainers cost high. but then it will help.
ang galing mo talaga. haha.
er... anything else?

umm... yeah. one last thing. you'll fall in love.
You're joking.
no, no I'm not - and you know that. I won't be surprised if you already are - I mean, I know everything, that's it.
but -
but what? still conscious of your past? still think that you're ugly when you're not in front of that oval mirror? still not sure, still waiting for the right time?
no way! -
there's no use lying. I'm going to forgive you this time. but then, why react like that? Ii did not tell you that you are already in love.
ohh... now that you mention it... pinag-iisipan ko pa eh.
you are dead scared of the future. and you're thinking that either you stop this now or go on with it for the rest of your miserable life.
hey. those are my lines. sheesh.
gab, exercise your free will. I'm not stopping you from going your way. and I am certainly not telling you anything that you don't know.

and of course You're right. i wonder why i stopped talking to You.
never mind that. anyway, if you think you're lucky enough, go for it. good things might follow - I can't tell you, you have to find out.
they just might. pero pag-iisipan ko talaga. kaso nga lang... baka too late na.
it never is. you know what, I feel like singing this song - all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go-
shut u- oh. forgive me please.
right. i got your point. gives you a feeling of deja vu, eh?
opo. but in a different sense. kanta ko yan 6 months ago eh.
hehe. matulog ka na nga.
sure thing. good night. and thank You.
I'm always listening.

Amen.

2006-12-03T11:23:00.000+08:00

wow. the blogger deities are showering blessings upon me. just when i was ready to hibernate again, typhoon reming comes around the corner. and so i had four days to think about my next column (syet, ang feeling ko! wooh!).

the downside is, i had nothing on my agenda during those past days. so, yes, i had the time - but nothing else. therefore, do not expect anything special for this weekend's edition.

again, another note:

1. haloscan comment and tracking system has been installed in this site, so if ever your insights will not fit the whole tagboard, you can say them here. the link will be found at the bottom of each entry.

me, the academe six of ten. one of ten. one of three. these were my quiz and recitation scores two weeks underway the second semseter. perhaps i'm pressuring myself too much; this is another chapter, and its demands are three notches higher than the first time around - but it just can't be helped - long before i've already realized that i was born to learn. and making mistakes is the most integral part of learning, i suppose. so i'll get used to it in no time... hopefully. so far i'm making progress - i finished my homework during the second of the four "vacation" days.

reming

boredom heh. so i'm supposed to rejoice over the four-day weekend. not that i complained or anything, but a few things made me wonder if it was really worth the time:

1. can't help but feel for those guys down southern luzon (bicol region, marinduque, etc.) who were hit directly by the typhoon because they were in the way, 'twas not their fault that they were living there.
2. besides, there was the prospect of an island-wide electricity shut-off. right, no pldt mydsl, no signal reception for cellphones, no light bulbs. [but then, i had no credits, anyway.]
3. by this time i was feeling a bit under the weather, thus i was restricted to indoor activities. booh-ring.

the dreamer [enters a trance in 3, 2, 1:]

"if typhoon reming would directly hit manila, i wish that i would be on the roof of our house and that the wind would carry our roof away with me still on it."

these were my last words before globe deceptively took the life out of my cellphone. the next time i register to unlimitxt, i will say:

"but unfortunately, reming veered off southward to marinduque by friday morning. along with it went my crazy thoughts of being an aladdin together with my dream jasmine atop the magical roof. how pitiful."

[yikee, sino kaya si jasmine. haha... joke! don't take this seriously.]

[wakes up in 3, 2, 1] heh, whatever. at least reming's gone, there was no brownout, and that quite stalls the death toll.

the physically incomplete *sneeze.* one dog can be a nuisance for an asthmatic. two dogs can be a living nightmare. furthermore, my hair's started to grow awkwardly. and my weight's down three pounds. and we know that the whole of quezon city is clouded by smoke. on top of that, my eyebags are still there.

oh my. and i'm feeling paranoid.

yuletide?

chestnuts roasting on an open fire... jack frost nipping at your nose...

two and twenty days to go. time flies so fast, i'm not quite feeling the christmas spirit yet - not that i was ignorant of the burning lights in our neighborhood.

but then, i feel so... normal. after all, christmas is still just another day. maybe that's why i haven't thought of my "for santa" wishlist yet. or why i'm not saving money for gifts. heck, there's no single special note in my imaginary calendar. i guess i'll just give out lantern parade postcards to some of you guys come season's greetings.

see, i told you! nothing special. next wednesday, it will be all school life. or maybe something like that. everything is interrelated, you see. that's it for now, then. (",)

2006-11-29T09:55:00.000+08:00

before i jot away, a few notes:

1. the writer will be publishing entries 3 times a week, at the most: during tuesday evenings, wednesdays, and weekends. this is for your convenience, assuming that if there would be anyone visiting this site regularly, he/she can do it without checking the site every one or two days, which could results to time waste.

2. erratum: the viewer might have already noticed, but there is a serious problem with the layout. the fourth section of this blog goes with the title "You," when supposedly that "You" refers to "me," the writer, and not to you, the reader. since i am not skilled in photoshop editing, i humbly and most sincerely apologize.

canine blues last sunday morning, a 7-month old siberian husky was delivered to our front door by a friend of my mom's. the husky's name was k-9, maybe because of lack of creativity or otherwise. i had no problem with the dog at first...

until my mom suddenly declared that our new doggy's name would be "k." i, being the good listener that i am, heard this from our bedroom (i had just stirred myself awake) and stormed down to the sala...

"no, no, his name can't be k. i won't allow it, mama."
"oy, gising ka na pala ha! at baket?"
"eh? diba pambabae na pangalan ang k?"
"hindi naman, para mas madali nyang ma-recognize, k-9 kasi pangalan nya talaga eh."
"pero hindi po siya girl eh!"
"and so what? at least mas madali nya tayong makikilala."
"pero lalaki siya! k sounds feminine!"

...and the debate raged on, until we both heard my dad shouting "oscar! hoy oscar!" and there it ended. [i just thought i would feel awkward calling my dog by a name
phonetically similar to my ex's name, that's all. (but you do owe me one, kaye. heh.)] point is, at the least i succeeded in stalling my mother from calling our dog by a girlish name.

happy birthday! jamie evon de vera [nov. 28]! sana magpakita ka samen someday. miss ka na namin!

schedule + pressure i'm tired. plain tired. for starters, my day at school starts 11:30 am, and usually ends (provided that none of my professors commit suicide someday) around 4-5:30 pm. no breaks.

this implies that if i usually rise up late (about 7:30-8 am), then my brief breakfast would be around 9, i would be at school by 10:30, and i would eat lunch at 11. do i have the luxury of having a king's breakfast? no, because if so, there would be no need to have lunch. will a 9:30 brunch last until 5:30? definitely not, specially for a guy who had a weight growth spurt just recently. then why not skip breakfast, and have brunch at school by 11? heck, i tried that before, during my sophomore years at high school. just drank a glass of milk and took off, 2 public transport rides to school. i did not last until lunch time.

after 5:30 or 6, i would go home, and arrive there by 7. yours truly smells the aroma of freshly cooked food, gets his tummy stimulated and excited. there seems to be no stopping now, but then the brain will flash a reminder: you have a ton of homework. i repeat, you have a ton of homework! and then i say, "but of course!" so having that in mind, i wash myself, rush dinner, then get to business (read: busyness) until... 11 pm to 12 next morning. right, i theoretically missed a day of sleep! and it's not just that, but during your sleep i get reminded of stuff that i missed, and a whole lot more! thus the cycle repeats itself the next sunrise, until wednesday or the weekends.

i was not quite surprised when a friend remarked, "gab! mukha kang may sakit." heck, who wouldn't when you practically eat only twice a day, when you only have a peaceful sleep once every three days! but then, that is college life at its finest. i'm hoping that either i could adapt to it, or i die in my sleep in the process. *kidding, of course.*

nostalgia [change of mood, in three, two, one!]

*sigh.* then *sigh* again. a few moments later, *sigh.* what the heck is happening to me? i have to finish this psych paper, and i'm only midway through it, and it's already 9 pm. *sigh* again. a yellow smiley flashes in the desktop's lower right corner, an indicator of someone logging on to the yahoo! online network.

then it happens. i felt my pulse rising, my heart doubling its lub-dubs inside my chest. "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" i thoughtlessly shouted, shaking my head over the confusion. and then i do it again, like a child lost in the wilderness: "waaaah!"

"kuya, ano ba yan! ang ingay mo!" remarks my youngest brother, who was using the computer adjacent to the one i was using. "ay, sorry, ang hirap nung paper ko sa psych eh! waaah!"

but alas, the psych paper was momentarily obliterated from my memory. half an hour or so passed by, and i was blankly staring at my online text sources, not really understanding a single word, black and white they all were. until the yellow smiley turned grey.

*sigh.* sigh. that feeling. i remembered - i felt it before! from 8 months ago. after the last high school dance ever. i was attempting to sleep, back against the bed cushion - and i was sort of crying. there were tears, for sure. for an hour of so. then i managed to cracked a smile, and that was it.

*sigh.* this time, no tears were shed. only deep gasps and sighs, but that was it.

[change of mood, in three, two, one!]

and that was for this date's edition. i hope you learned something from me. *vomits* (whew, that was long.) next edition will be published sunday next week.

2006-11-28T19:29:00.000+08:00

hello. first significant post will be published tomorrow.

please be reminded that this is not a new blog; i only replaced the URL and the layout.

in relation to that, i humbly request to those people who have me linked in their respective blogs to please remove all former links and replace this with the new URL found below.

http://lineofscythe.blogspot.com

thanks a lot. (",)